A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right, well basically I think I've got atypical depression. For the past eighteen months, due to family circumstances, there has been an inordinate amount of stress in my life. Things with my friends and in school haven't been great either.I have an awful lot of the symptoms, which I won't go into as this post isn't about whether or not I have atypical depression.This is about my mother. We've never had a close relationship, and so it took a lot for me to tell her. I asked her to find me help, but she doesn't believe that I suffer from this. She thinks that I'm being overly dramatic about it all.How can I make her take me seriously? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): Ok. This looks really serious. You really really need help. What did you do when you suffered from melancholic depression ? May be you could do that again. . . Or can't you go to your psychologist before the appointment ? In our country psychologists can't prescribe medicines. We have to go to psychiatrists for that. I think, no, i know you need medicine. So if in your country psychologists don't give medicine, it is really necessary to find a psychiatrist. In our country we have doctors of all kind in government hospitals. And people can afford them at a very low cost. I assume there are govt. hospitals in your country where you will find psychiatrist. Couldn't you go there ? Try talking to your mom again. Convince her at any cost. If you can't , try convincing your elder brother. Don't worry about not being too easy with them. They are your family. They will be there when you need them, whether or not you are on good terms or not. You said you have no one to talk to. I know how that feels. Because i had times when i had no one to talk to.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 June 2011):
 Then it sounds you should really see a professional - try talking to your mom again, if she is the one who should be footing the bill- and, try to have compassion if you can. I think your mom minimizes the situation not because she is a bad parent, but because she is scared and in denial. Mothers are human beings too and maybe , with all what 's going on with your brother 's illness, she thinks : oh no. Please not you too, daughter. Please don't give me a hard time , I can't handle you too having problems.
Again unluckily I am totally not familiar with the health system in your country but I think you should be a bit proactive and do some thorough search if there are any free clinics or pro-bono mental health organizations that could help you for free or for a nominal fee. But there must be something, I mean, there's stuff like that even in the States !, where notoriously either you cough up money - or you stay sick.
You could also check if there are depression self- help groups in your area, and also on line there are depression websites with free literature, forums, chats and some of them with free advice.
Another "in lack of better " yet very valid and helpful solution would be calling the Samaritans- it's a free hotline with trained volunteers , for any kind of emotional / psychological problem, you can talk to them as long as you want , remaining anonymous , in total privacy .
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSome things I forgot to mention:
When I say my brother freaks out, I mean that he really just goes crazy. An example is that one morning he locked himself in his room by mistake and couldn't get out. My mam was trying to take the lock of whilst he was screaming and banging on the door and throwing things around his room. When he got out he, he started screaming at my mam, saying that she locked him in there and calling her every name under the sun. My mam asked him would he go for a run or a swim to calm himself down but he wouldn't. He went in to the kitchen and started boiling the kettle. Because of the way he was acting, and previous attempts to scald people, my mam told him that he wasn't allowed have coffee and that he needed to go for a walk. He then jumped on her and started punching her. Me and my older brother pulled him off her and a huge struggle followed. My younger brother grabbed my hair and pulled me down. He said he was going to rape me and let forth a stream of verbal abuse at all of us. I eventually escaped and called the emergency services while my mam and older brother were holding my younger brother down.
He went to hospital but they would not keep him there. He is only fourteen and there is nowhere that he can go. He came back to our house 4 days after this, as he was staying with a relative.
Another symptom I have of atypical depression is problems with sleep. I can be up until 4 am, just trying to go asleep. If I succeed, I have to be pretty much dragged out of bed the next day.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell the situation at home is this:
My little brother has Asperger's Syndrome. It wasn't as bad when we were younger, although I did resent him a lot as it took away from the time with my parents. Since he entered adolescence, he has completely regressed. He's extremely violent. We have the police at our house almost every weekend because he freaks out and attacks people. It is an absolute nightmare.
I've been through a lot at school as well. When I was thirteen, I was really badly bullied. I had an abusive boyfriend when I was fifteen for six months. I've had problems with alcohol and drugs as well.
I've attempted suicide god knows how many times, the most recent was a week ago.
My symptoms are;
-I have lost interest in my past times. I used to play four instruments, swim and play camogie. Now I've no desire to do any of that.
-I prefer most of the time to stay in my room, away from people. This isn't normal for me, I used to be really sociable.
-My schoolwork has suffered. I was a straight A student but now I find even sticking to deadlines is hard, never mind the content of my work.
-I crave carbohydrates really badly.
-I will obsess over a conversation or interaction with someone for weeks, thinking about what I said etc. and worrying about how I came across.
Most of all, I feel the depression. It's like a dark sea pushing down on top of me. I suffered from melancholic depression before so I know what it feels like.
The difference is that if something good happens, I get a temporary release from it.
@CindyCares
A GP visit costs about 50 euro here, and as a 16 year old, I don't have that kind of money. I am going to a psychologist because of the issues in my family but my next visit isn't for weeks and I am scared of what could happen in that time. I don't think that he is the right person to help me in this either.
@Watchout
I don't really have a person in my life that I could discuss this with that could understand or help me. I have no relationship with my father.
Thank you both for your answers
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2011): Ok. Your question is how to convince your mom, right ? It would have been better if you gave us more details. . It sounded like problems at school are not so major, and the main problem is at your home. . It is related with what? Like problem between your parents, or between you and your mother or father etc. . What's your relationship with your father? What are the symptoms? Lets presume, your problem involves your mother, in that case i don't think you will be able to convince her that you have depression even if you show her a book with symptoms, because that would mean she has some contribution to your condition. Unless she is a very reasonable person, it is likely that she would deny it. . . May be you could discuss this with your father, or may be you could go to a doctor (preferably a psychiatrist) alone or with a friend. . . Or you can give it a try with your mother again. . . Best of luck. . .
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (6 June 2011):
Well,no, as a matter of fact it is rather relevant whether you may really have atypical depression or not.
Since you mention having had stress factors in your life for the past 18 months-temporary bad moods or sadness or melancholy as a REACTION to negative events are not a pathological response , in fact they are the normal one, have you seen many people dancing for joy when they get fired or get dumped by their boyfriend ?
Not to mention your age ,that is an age of extreme reactivity and "natural " mood swings.
Check well the DSM-IV-TR definition of Atypical Depression, and check that you have been experiencing the majority of symptoms consistently for over 6 weeks and- attention, this is important,- in a way that results in SIGNIFICANT social or occupational impairment . ( Like, you have stopped attending school, or talking to/seeing your friends, etc.)
If this is the case, show the textbook definition to your mom, with the list of symptoms you have been experiencing, and I am sure she will not deny you her cooperation. Anyway :
I have no idea how the National Health System works in your country, or if there's one, as for that, but IF there is one, you don't need your mom's permission or intervention to see a doctor. Describe your symptoms to your GP and he will refer you to a specialist, or go to your local hospital and ask to be referred to the available Mental Health Services.
Also, keep in mind that hypothyroidism has the very same symptoms as Atypical Depression, in a way it causes this kind of depression, - so the first thing to do would be to see an endocrinologist and check if your thyroid gland is functioning properly.
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