A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am 24 and my husband 20, we have been married for 6 months and I am considering divorce. We met in the military and got along great at first. Now that we are married (there has been no honeymoon stage)I dont really think its going to last. My husband has no life experience and this is his first relationship. The sex is so bad, I dont even want him to touch me! On top of that he has changed alot, he used to be sweet and bend over backwards for me even when i was in a bad mood he was sweet! ( I am a moody person!) But thats why i married him. Now he just calls me a bitch. its like as soon as we walked out of the church he was a different man and didnt have to impress anyone. Anyways my question is should I stay in my marriage? or is this just what the first year is like. I feel so jipped,and im not in love with him anymore. I am not happy and dont enloy being around him. please help me figure this out!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, confusedlady182  +, writes (15 January 2010):
He feels like you are his now, which is why he doesn't try anymore. Is there anything you do different now your married, like not go out as much. Maybe you could distance yourself from him a little and then go out on dates again.
I had the same situation, similar anyway. My husband changed as soon as we got married, no affection, slowly my feelings for him left and I couldn't stand him touching me but he still wanted to touch me, then it got to the point where he would restrain me in an argument and threaten to slap me because I wanted to get away from him and out of the room. We did end up getting a divorce and I think my husband was more extreme although yours is being a little cruel.
At best your husband doesn't realise yet what a relationship is all about. also, do you do things for him too? do you do the things you used to do? is there anything you have fun doing together. If you are really close to a divorce then there is no harm in giving it one big shot to see how it goes. Even my husband who wouldn't go to councelling or anything when it came to me leaving he would have done anything. Maybe once he realises how serious you are things will start to change.
I would try and go into it with a fresh start, try looking at him differently if you can. the reason i say distance yourself, is like see him as a friend rather than a partner for a week or so, try and get objective about it and maybe see if there is anything fresh you can see about him and fall in love with again. As though he was a new boyfriend.
Also obviously if that doesn't do anything talk to him. You may be able to go through councelling and see if there is anything that can be changed so you are both happier. But if it stays the same and your feelings are gone then it is time to go
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