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male
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anonymous
writes: Help! I've slept with 100's of women and I start off really liking them but as soon as I sleep with them that's it. I'm completely turned off.Is there something wrong with me? Why can't I form a serious relationship with one of them?? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rockmanco2 +, writes (16 September 2005):
Stop haveing sex!! Sex is not the key to a good realtionship. For the love of god man you've had sex with hundreds of women but your relizeing it's a problem now. I sugest you seek out a good sex therapist in your area and fast. If you ever want to have a real relatioship with a women its what needs to be done....
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): Sexual promiscuity is risky behavior at any age. This behavior can be a cry for help from a troubled person, like yourself. Guys engaging in sexual promiscuity often use this behavior to mask other serious issues..like a sexual addiction. It is clear that you are simply interested in only fulfilling your own pleasure and not concerned about your own welfare or feelings or that of the other person. You need to recognize that you are out of control sexually and you are taking huge risks with your physical and emotional health. (STD'S, Aids, unplanned pregnancies (your partners), etc. Getting to that point requires taking a hard look at yourself and the problems—emotional, physical, or financial—caused by your sexual behaviors. You need to learn to respect women and in the process, learn to respect yourself more. What does it say about yourself when you have no problem dumping a woman when you no longer has a use for her and you're ready to move onto the next exploit. (By the way, women are also guilty of this, too)
Abstaining from sex means sacrificing your desire in order to honor and respect a woman and to treat your body with dignity. Finding a decent, respectable woman will only be achieved when you realize that the worthwhile women out there are looking for good, decent men; one who respects him, and HER.
Realize you are playing with fire, and you will get burned. Whether by disease, by a painful loss of self respect, a bad reputation, or the intense pain of a ruined relationship-whatever the form, it will come back to bite you.
Work on yourself first..get some counselling for your promiscuity so you have a better understanding of yourself and why you continue this self-destructive behaviour. Yes, momentary pleasure may be fun but as you mature, you will realize the incredible painful price you will eventually, pay for that pleasure. Good luck
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reader, pops +, writes (15 September 2005):
I suspect that you are afraid of commitment, or even afraid of women. Something traumatic happened to you back before this all started. You may not even recall the event, and only hypnosis will bring it out. But you have stopped growing emotionally, and are stuck, an emotional " Ground Hog Day", as in the movie of that title. We now suspect that people like you have suffered emotional, as well as possibly physical and sexual trauma within a couple of years prior to the onset of this behavior. Treatment consists of discovering what it was that happened, and getting you talking about it openly. Then the brain seems to start the clock again, and emotional growth restarts. At least that is the theory, and there are some success stories. Get professional help ASAP.
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A
female
reader, jaime +, writes (15 September 2005):
When you meet a women you should get to know them first, that way you might not be turned off by them, and also enjoy it more. There is nothing wrong with you at all! This happens all the time. Hope everything works out good.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): You are attracted to the chase and the bedding of a woman but once you conquer her, the thrill is gone. The best thing for you to do is to figure out why you are afraid to move beyond the bedding stage. Were you hurt in the past? What was your family makeup growing up? You may need some help in sorting out your behavior.
In the meantime, you should go on a sex diet and refrain for a while. If you meet someone that you are interested in stop yourself from going to bed with her right away. See if any other feelings come into play. It may be hard to do at first but in the end you may finally find someone who peaks your interest in other areas besides the bedroom. Good luck...
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A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (15 September 2005):
Maybe because you don't really want to! I think this is a case of you living from the waist down and being dead from the waist up. Find a good alternative healer, ie reiki, acupuncture, something. Hope you are keeping your fluids in rubber, what a lot of women, chances are very high that you have already caught something nasty, don't spread it around please.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): Maybe it's based on respect. It could be that once you've slept with a woman, you categorize her as being "easy", and lose all respect for her. As such, you don't want to be with someone you can't respect, and can never form a meaningful bond with them.
The way I see it, you have a couple of options. Either you can find someone who isn't so eager to sleep with you, to give you enough time to build respect for them, and form a relationship; or you can avoid the urge to sleep with these women, in hopes of building enough respect to keep them in your life long enough.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): Yikes! I hope you are practising safe sex, if not I wouldn't like to be either you or one of the women you have slept with. Sounds like you are just after the conquest. And while I wouldn't say there is anything WRONG with you per say, as a lot of men seem to be like this (I believe it's called the casonova complex) I would say that you are hurting and using a lot of very good women who don't deserve it. Also if one one the women with whom you have had sex gets pregnant, well thats going to be even more pain caused, are you ready for that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2005): There is nothing wrong with you as it quite normal for a man to lose interest once the sexual tension is gone.
You need to ask yourself what kind of woman you want
Maybe they turn you off because it was to easy maybe your looking for a woman who is more conservative about sex.
Try to get to know the girls better before you have sex.
Build up a good friendship and focus on foreplay instead of penetration. I think your just waiting for that one girl to fall in love with
Stuart
london england
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A
female
reader, siren +, writes (15 September 2005):
maybe its just because you havent found the right one there is nothing wrong with you though have you been hurt in the past by a woman as this can be stopping you from getting close and just using for sex so your not the one to be hurt
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