A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Everyone,I have a bunch of friends and we hang out a lot together. Recently I got closer and closer to a guy in this bunch and one day when we were drunk we slipped away from our friends and made out. We talked about it the next day and I said that for me , we could continue and become freinds with benefits, but that i am not looking to date right now , having just gotten out of a marriage. He said taht he too wasnt looking to date ,and we should just go with the flow. Since then we continue to hang out with our other friends were we behave like normally. but we also see each other at either his place or mine and make out.Now here is the part that perplexes me... we make out and do everything but intercourse. I asked him why not and he says that in the past he has reacted badly after he had sex.he wont elaborate on this no matter how much i asked, and so I dont bring it up with him anymore.But it bothers me, and makes me think there must be something about me he finds unattractive. Also I have noticed during our making out that he seems to have premature ejaculation. Though he doesnt seem like it bothers him , and it seem like hes worried about it... could it be that he is worried about that.I care about this guy and we are friends, and I would only want to help him no matter what.What do you all think?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Lee Adama  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 I very much doubt his reluctance to do the deed has anything to do with you. The obvious reason is the premature ejaculation, as this would be a constant anxiety for him. There could also be many other reasons all tied up together, low self esteem etc. Don’t blame yourself & don’t make a big deal out of this & you never know..... ;)
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (22 December 2009):
The last thing a PE'er wants is pity and 'help' from his partner. They find it humiliating. The best thing would be to stop pressuring him about it and just try to enjoy the make out sessions. With time, as he begins to trust you more then let him be the one to bring it up. 99% its not because of your attractiveness otherwise he wouldn't be seeing you at all.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 Performance problems could very well be the issue. Premature ejaculation, size, technique.
If he found you unattractive he wouldn't bother.
And FWB isn't supposed to involve care. Be careful where you head with this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): Asked and answered.. he wont get intimate with you because he suffers from premature ejaculation.
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