A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Sorry this post is long.plz help and thanks in advance? i am in a comitted ldr relationship..i am 17 and my bf is 18 and we really love each other and we have just completed one year and two months. lately i m still not sure that whether he really loves me because his words are getting rude day by day. last night we had a great fight. .the reason was marriage which is going to take place ten years from now!! ah.. he asked how would u like to get married? i said that everybody marries in the traditional way, i want to do something different from this. why not do something really different so that everyone will remember us as the most romantic couple. but he said no!!! because his grandfather and grandmther won't like that!!! and he also said can't u adjust for one day.. its just marriage..i cried right there on the phone.just marriage? mariage is not a drama i believe?and adjusting is not a problem but know wat hurted me the most?because i told him earlier that m not traditional and m very much modern..and he used to say that he loves me the most in this world and no matter what the condition is he will be with me. wat he said yesterday didn't seemed that he actually meant it. yesterday he also said that go and find a dog who will lick ur shoes!!i said i love him and i dun want that kind of person. but he kept on saying that he can't help it because they are his grandparents .i wouldn't have mind if he would have said earlier dat m nt his first priority.why is he fooling me? i cried like mad yesterday.and after that also he kept on saying that m wrong m selfish. tell me as a girl dun i have the right to think how i want to be married .he earlier said that he can do anything for my happiness.but last night talk is simply killing me from inside. i can't leave him. but i dun know to do?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionah i know how to use puctuations.m well educated.the problem with me is that i have to write fast so that nobody comes and read it as this is not my personal laptop.its my dads laptop.so i wrote fast without revising and therefore there are mistakes.lol
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionactually he is happy in both ways.but my question is that iam going to be his lifepartner.he should listen to me...cuz i dun think m wrong.m i?
...............................
A
male
reader, slightlyconfusedhusband  +, writes (8 September 2010):
If you don't want to fight then give in. You can do the sneaky thing and agree now and try to rope him into what you want later. This is probably not going to work, but will at least keep you from fighting right now about something that does not matter for another 10 years. If it really matters that much to you now that you are willing to fight it this hard 10 years in advance, then you are both likely fighting for similar reasons, neither of which have anything to do with the wedding.1. It's easier to be away from somebody if you are mad at them. I know this, I'm in the navy and me and my wife only fought right before deployments and during said deployments. Many couples do this, it's one reason long distance relationships are so hard.2. You could both be fighting for dominance in the relationship. By telling you to go find somebody that will lick your shoes he is letting you know that he feels he should be the dominant one, and if you don't like it you need to look elsewhere. Let him have this one, and see if you end up fighting about something equally silly. If you let him have this one he will likely compromise with you on most things but wants to be the final say.On a side note, a lot of people find shorthand really annoying, especially when you are asking for help. Take the time to write things like you have an education and know how to use punctuation and proper spelling. The quality and number of people trying to help you out will likely increase. If you are to lazy to type properly why should I or anyone else put the time into deciphering your question? I normally just skip right over things like this.
...............................
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (7 September 2010):
 Why are you worrying about something that may or may not happen in 10 years?? His grandparents may not even be alive by that time... If you really must discuss such things then realize that you aren't the only one in this relationship with wants and needs. He wants a traditional wedding, you want a different wedding... so try to reach a compromise.. (hypothetically at least). Then hopefully you can focus on the "here and now" problems that may de-rail any future wedding with him to begin with.
Best of luck :)
...............................
|
