A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Im really sorry it is a long message but I need help.Im 12 and I know this site is for teens but still.My sister is 16 and she has a boyfriend. He is perfectly nice but on Myspace he has been posting affectionate comments to this other girl. Its been going on for a while but my sister isnt too worried.She has asked him about it but she isnt concerned.My mother on the other hand thought it nececary to install a Computer Logger which logged the keystrokes entered in and took a Print Screen every minute. She also made her own Myspace account and decided to spy on my sisters boyfriend and the girl he was talking to. My family have caught her many times and it ends up in arguments nd fights. My dad thinks she is doing a very bad thing. And it is nothing to do with her what happnes between my sister and he boyfriend. My sister is very grown up and can take care of herself but even whem my mum said she would stop she carried on... Everyone is sick of it and we are quite worried about my mum who continuously watches. My sister uninstalled the program but even so my mother persists to spy. Today we all had a massive fight which ended up with my mum getting in her car and leaving and my sister, dad and me very upset.Please help and tell me what I can do about it.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): To be honest, it sounds like your sister trusts this guy completely.
It's your sister's business how she responds to it - if she feels her boyfriend is over-stepping boundaries she has every right to talk to him about it. On the other hand, it sounds as if your mother is getting too involoved. She is protecting her daughter, so I fully understand why she might act this way; However, the final decision lies with your sister, for better or for worse. I don't know what this guy is like personally, but ultimately the decision should lie with yuor sister as to whether she wants to trust him or not. These are important life lessons we all have to learn. i personally would hate to see my sister get hurt from a relationship, but i it is a choice between getting hurt and making a long-lasting wrong decision - I know which I would choose.
The problem is trying to talk to your sister without making it seem like you qare the enemy. Try to present a balanced argument and to support her all the way. She is the best friend you will ever have.
Hope it all goes OK.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (1 October 2007):
 I really don't know much that you can do about it. Maybe have your sister and her boyfriend set their profiles to private. It sounds almost like you mum began with security in mind, then became somewhat obsessed with her spying. Her behavior sounds like some kids (I know you wouldn't fit in this) who do something wrong, sneaking around, and it's not the thrill of what their doing, It's the excitement of being able too without getting caught. What makes me view it that way is how mum said she's stop, but did not. She might also, instead of just spying, be getting addicted to myspace. I have quite a few celebrity friends. One, it was his first time using it himself, without the production studio staff, he said he didn't think he'd enjoy it, but was on it so long his eyes began to hurt. He's now hooked.I would sit down with your dad and your sister and see, without arguing, if the three of you can come up with a logical solution to solving this issue. I think if you involve her in the conversation, another argument will take place. Thank you for showing the strength and caring for your family at your age. It's a big step to ask for advise or help, it's great to see that you have done that. I wish your family the best, take care.
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (30 September 2007):
 darling, u need to tell your parents how you feel about this, and how intefering in ur sisters life is not helping her at all. ur sister must trust this boyfriend a great deal if she is doing nothing about this. i think you and ur family plus the boyfriend need to sit down and sort this out. i also recommend u get rid of any ways of ur mum doing this kinda thing on the computer again [including attemtpting to get rid of her myspace]. and love well done for being so grown up about this most people wouldnt of...
if u want anymore help or nefink jst drop me an email
xxxx
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