A
male
age
30-35,
*onnyh
writes:Hey there,Been reading here for a while and I feel you could really help me out here.Well, I'm 19 and I've been feeling well different to my 'usual' self now for about 6 months now. I know what your all thinking, 'your 19, you should know by now', but i really don't know if i'm just going through a phase or if i should throw in the towel so to speak, and accept what I am. I obviously have never had any problem with Homosexuals in the past, so if i throw something out here which is offensive, I apologise completely. Well anyway, I can't really recall when or why it began really, i just remember having really vivid dreams about participating in sex with men, originally more well built men, before it became near enough all types. These Dreams and fantasies seemed to continue daily, and started to become a more frequent thing, concentrating on oral and physical activities at least once every 30 minutes gradually, literally it felt like it was taking me over.Well, it hit me that maybe it was a little more than frustration, about 3 months ago, whilst out celebrating getting into University, the only places left open were the gay bars, anyway, we went into club, and literally within 5 minutes, i'd been touched in the lower regions about 12 times, which left me the most aroused i'd been potentially ever! I found myself leaving as i was worried my arousal may become noticeable to my friends, and I didn't want that to happen.I still thought about girls, in fact i still do, but as my girlfriends have came and gone without any consistency, my thought about girls sexually have started to fade, i feel myself wondering if i'm chasing the wrong thing, whether i should put my fantasies in person and test the gay life. No one would have a clue, that i'm inclined to men at all, I'm far from the feminine type or 'gay' type if you like, I don't know, should i tell a friend, in a group circle which victimise people for being 'different'.More recently, i've contemplated experimenting with myself through a use of 'toys' so to speak, and i've researched it and it seems a really good option, but that doesn't really give me a persons opinion.But I'm 19, surely i'm past the crazy hormones telling me what to do, right? So am I Still just curious through hormones, So to conclude, am i just going through A phase? or is this something which seems familiar? Am i maturing into a gay man leaving the 'straight' boy behind? So what should i do next?Thanks in advance for reading this, and thanks for helping me with advice, those who have left it, it's most appreciated :)
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male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 I accepted the fact, acknowledged it to myself, that I was gay... at just your age... and spent about a month almost constantly in tears cause it's what society tells us... that being gay is 'wrong', 'an abomination', etc.
You might be 'bi' but it sounds to me like you are more on the 'gay' side. If you 'experiment' with toys you might get a little physical gratification... but I think what you are really wanting is something more 'real'. Since you're either already at a university you're at a prime point at which to 'experiment' with other guys rather than some inanimate object. If you're not at school already... I would hold off till you get there.
You can always setup a profile on gay.com (one of the largest gay sites... that has guys looking relationships and sex). This will give you an idea of who might already be available in the area near your new school and yet still give you a level of discretion that you still need at this stage. You should emphasize that you are not there for 'hookups' per say (unless that's what you want).
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Dude, there are married men with several children that are only just discovering their sexual identities. Maybe you're bisexual. Maybe your gay. Maybe you could have realized at 14 and maybe you might not have discovered until you were 50. Just don't be ashamed of yourself and any friend that thinks less of you wasn't a real friend.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 The whole femininity that seems to come attached to homosexuality is an absolute stereotype. You could be the most masculine person on earth and still be homosexual. If you need to, tell someone you truly trust, not someone who you know will victimize you. There is no specific time to figure out your orientation. Some people discover that they are homosexuals after decades into their lives. Do what you need to so that you can figure yourself out, but I urge you to embrace whatever you find within you, if you struggle to resist it, it may just tear you apart.
I hope that helps.
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