A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Are women put off dating skinny guys?Is the build and muscles of a man overly important for a woman?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): Skinny guy, you have a nice selection of responses from women, and one would think you would be smiling and feeling more optimistic as a result. I suspect that your past experiences are not as rosy which was what prompted you to post on this forum. I thought I would add my bit here as an older skinny guy.
You are in your early 20s, for me these were the better years (likewise for a number of other short, thin, small build guys I know) You need to make the most of this time and try to overcome any confidence issues as best you can and approach more women. You will need to be more proactive rather than just hope things will get better over the years. They dont, it gets worse. I have found that women have less tolerance for skinny build guys from their mid 20s onwards. They have had their heart broken a few times, have higher expectations for their next guy, take a more pragmatic longterm approach to a guys physique in terms of offspring and career, want a more masculine guy, putting on weight themselves they are more comfortable with similar guys, etc. In the city where I live, for women 28yrs+...size rocks. After reading an article from a short guy complaining that 90% of short women on his dating site were looking for tallish guys I counted the number of slim women on my site wanting muscular build men and it was 75% on random day. Fat women can at least date fat men, but I have consistently found the majority of petite, thin, slim women shop at the other end of the gene pool or else go for badboy/dominant type guys.
While I have had a number of women tell me I'm good looking and being thin does not matter at all, its always been from older married women. As successful guys have told me over the yrs, when it comes to many single women, watch their actions and not what they say, and secondly single women have different mind sets from women in relationships when it comes to what they want in a man. Over the years, going out with mates who are tall or hunky build and observing women with them...it is a total dichotomy.
Three quick examples: At work xmas party the other week, skinny guy was talking to 2 women late 30s, flirting very mildly. After he just left for the bar one sneers to the other 'You wish you creepy little fag', while the other girl does a little spasm and goes 'eeeeeeeeewwwwww' and laughs. These women were 10yrs older than this guy, were not attractive and had overweight slobby bodies.
Due to a health condition I have lost weight and put it on a number of times over the years. Over the past 15yrs I have been above a certain weight for just 10% of time, yet 80% of the women I have slept with are in that period and that was with making less effort than the other 90% of the time. When I have put on weight, women are lot more friendlier. It sucks to have to say it, but its repeated each time I have put on weight. I have a build like Bruce Lee at moment and I find, so many single women (not overweight) have aloof personalities.
A guy at a place I work used to be skinny, until he got proper treatment for crohns disease. He was still a virgin at 26. Started putting on weight and got a girlfriend. Continued going to gym. Broke up with her at 30. By his 33rd birthday he was into triple digits with women he had bedded. He said back in his 20s he used to be a nice guy. That’s how it works.
Over the years I have worked at a numerous businesses and I would say when it comes to the single guys there, overall I would say 40% were short, 40% were thin and 20% were geeky dorky types.
There is a difference between being lean, slim or skinny. While women might downplay the differences, if you are low weight and have ectomorphic body shape, its poison. Someone gave example of Tommy Lee. To me he is lean/slim plus being over 6ft and a rockstar with badboy looks is a huuuge bonus. Short guys complain they have to work harder to compensate with their image and personality, like wise it is the same for skinny guys. Number 1 - work out at the gym & eat more, dress stylishly, hang out friends who do well with girls or alternatively with girls that you know (sisters friends, coworker, a mate's girlfriend friends) for the affirmation effect, talk to more average build women as opposed to thin build women, chat to more non anglo women, work on being funnier and more laid back as opposed to being slightly desperate/nervous in your conversations. Read the book 'The Game'.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): I'm a woman,and I find skinny guys attractive. I also find non-smokers, non-drinkers, tall guys, and rich white guys with a full head of hair attractive. Glasses, too. I don't find the pants-falling down look, boxers hanging out, smokers, obese men, overweight men, or extremely muscled (Mr. Universe, body-builder types)
attractive. A man who takes care of himself, inside and out, and takes care of his friends, family, and his lady...is the most attractive. If he is a white anglo saxon Protestant, he's even hotter. He must be intelligent, informed, educated, and have great personality and a witty sense of humor, positive/realistic outlook on life. Some women may not go for skinny, but not this one. I love healthy-somebody not underweight or overweight or obese.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): i have a skinny boyfriend :D
love him to pieces :D
xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): As everyone else here have stated, this is simply a matter of taste. I know for a fact that plenty of women are heavily into thin men - including myself. Have always found myself attracted to skinny lads-the Richard Ashcroft types. I think they (you) are sexy.
Then again, we can´t choose who we fancy. One may find oneself attracted to someone who is nothing like the people one has liked in the past. Taste varies and changes. And when a girl falls in love with a skinny guy, the fact that he´s thin is a very tiny part of the process. I´m not saying that looks don´t matter at all, that´d make me a hypocrite. And I´m sure there are also women out there who wouldn´t date a thin man - only because he´s thin. But luckily you don´t have to waste your time on them, honey.
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A
female
reader, babycate728  +, writes (4 August 2008):
 I couldn't answer this as a yes or no question. I've never been extremely attracted right off to a skinny guy, But that's because I'm more of an average/chunky guy fan. :) but that definetly doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of girls out there that would choose a skinny guy at day. I actually know quite a few. But keep in mind that personality is a big deal if you're nice, sweet, and funny.. Let's just say you'd get my attention. ;)
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (4 August 2008):
 I think it depends on the personality too. My first hubbie was very slim but my current husband is a big bloke and its not all muscle!!
My sister's ex hubbie was a real big muscly guy but the last two she has dated have been really skinny, although the current one has stopped smoking and gained a lot of weight.
Everyone likes different things and not all women always go for the same type each time, there are lots of other factors too x
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (4 August 2008):
 There is an old saying ..."every one has some one out there who is MADE for them."
You will find a lot of girls who don't like skinny men, then also girls who DO.
I have a friend of the family who married a skinny guy, and she is gorgeous!
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A
female
reader, les +, writes (4 August 2008):
Different strokes for different folks! BUT at the same time, from my personal experience, I've realized that more women are into somewhat muscular guys (you can see that they have some muscle but not terminator by any means) than other body types. So if the interest is to attract most women, I say hit the gym. But the right woman wont care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): No, not all women. Some women love skinny men. Look at Pam Anderson. Look at her ex husband Tommy lee, he is skinny as a twig.
All women have DIFFERENT tastes in men. My two best friends and I all have completely different tastes in men. I, personally like them with meat on their body but not too big. My other friend loves super buff guys like the terminator. And my other friend loves em skinny as a twig.
It all depends on the woman. Different strokes for different folks. I promise you this is the truth.
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A
female
reader, Artistry +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Hi there, If a woman meets a man that she likes, being nice,
being a gentleman, having a sense of humor, being gentle, being a good listener, being considerate, being emotionally connected to your lady, being empathatic, being loving, to me represent things that are more important than being muscle bound. The other qualities are a part of your personality or character. Being skinny is something that you can change, by eating foods that give you more muscle, and there is always the gym, where you can exercise and build up your body over time, but having qualtiies that make you appealing to a woman, are of more value, in my opinion than how much of a Mr. Universe you are. Build on the best parts of your personality and try each day to improve your basic communication skills with the opposite sex, would pay dividends in the future. Finally, being skinny means you can always gain weight, rather than trying to lose weight, if you had to. Take care of yourself, be healthy and happy. Stay in touch.
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A
female
reader, SJ_ninety +, writes (4 August 2008):
 Haha, no. As society sees it (and basic health issues), a fit man is supposed to be with a fit woman (or man, depending on how you look at it) and it's drilled into our heads from a young age that being "fit" is the ideal way to go. And although that's true when it comes to health concerns, every person is different and has a different idea of the "perfect body". As for me, I prefer heavier-set guys whereas my best friend prefers the athletic ones.
To truly answer your question, it all depends on the woman.
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