A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Please a man's point of viewI have a situation that is forever nagging at me. The man i love is married. We were friends and dated before he got married. It did not work out because we were neither emotionally ready for a relationship. When he found out that i was pregnant he lost it and so did i. I am with the person i have a child with. When i was 5 months pregnant we both admitted on the phone that there was something missing in our relationship. Although, he still married her. Now 5 years later we still communicate and meet up and our intimate. 3 months ago i got up the guts to tell him that i love him, and he said it back. this situation is forever dragging on but i can't help having him in life. i always get the butterflies whenever i see him. i know this is wrong. he just had a baby too. horrible, i know. my question is does anyone think he is using me or we are using each other. i am not sexually attracted to my partner at all. this other person and i have admitted that we think about one another when were in bed with our partners. this is the only way i can have an orgasm. horrible, i know... leaving him is not an option b/c of my son. we don't fight hardly ever but the attraction is not there. i am so torn.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis is a very complicated situation..
A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (21 August 2007):
 What happened to having morals? And what happened to being a descent women? How would you feel if the situation was reversed? You both have to make a decision and stop playing with other peoples feelings.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): Hey, WAKE UP!!
Time to face facts.
Look, like it or not, the man you used to date was not ready for marriage with you, nor were you ready. Fair enough.
But he has obviously become ready to marry someone else - and did. What's more, he and his wife just had a baby.
Once he tied the knot with her, that was when you and he should have ceased all communication - let alone continued having sex. That's not fair to you, your partner, or his wife, or the children. Its known as cheating. You know?
Never mind that you told him you loved him (totally inapppropriate, by the way); he said it back. However, do you really think he's going to divorce his wife so that he can be with you?
Nope, not a chance. He would have made the decision to stay with YOU otherwise, rather than meeting and marrying someone else.
You say you don't have any attration toward your partner. You really think your partner deserves to be treated as a meal ticket for you and his baby? Poor man.
No orgasm unless you have sex with your lover? You think having good sex is a high enough priority that you are willing to carry on like this? - and he is just as bad.
Either work on your relationship with your partner, OR give up this other man totally and finally.
You are to be commended for your consideration toward your partner and your son - NOT. So sad, too bad.
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A
male
reader, DanBing  +, writes (20 August 2007):
 You really aren't being fair to your family!
I understand the situation is complicated but you shouldn't let it go on. Your partner is probably oblivious to what's going on?!
He hasn't done anything wrong and doesn't deserve this.
You should either break things off with this other guy and stay with your partner for your son or come clean to your partner and sort things out from there.
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