A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I making a mistake by not dating others and exploring my options? I'm twenty and my boyfriend is nineteen and we've been together for almost three years now. We've been through so much together. He helped me overcome my anxiety and depression, as well as getting me through illness in my family. I have been there for him through harsh trials with his parents. We moved away together and stuck with each other through financial hardship.Basically, I love him so much but sometimes I feel like I should be experiencing new things while we're young. I don't want either of us to miss out on anything because of meeting each other so young. I know I'm probably being irrational, but what do you all think? Is it worth it to explore the young, wild side? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2015): Thank you all so much fro your responses. I think I am over-thinking things (which is not uncharacteristic for me) and I'm going to enjoy what I have while I have it.
I'll stay while I'm happy and let things run their natural course, whatever that may mean.
A
male
reader, zeko  +, writes (20 March 2015):
Time will give you the best ans. if you think both of you are really ready for this, than it's okay but never let confusion stay within your relation and decision. It's a big step, so think over again than come to conclusion and leave the rest to god and time. see that you are not in hurry and you're fully ready for it. god bless.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2015): Everyone is different, I used to worry my bf was missing out on life when his friends were out all weekend, every weekend but he genuinely meant it when he said he'd rather have me than be out chasing meaningless one night stands and drinking himself into oblivion. I never liked the clubbing scene, drinking until you black out and I luckily had friends with similar interests so I never felt I missed out on anything, fortunately neither did he. If you're feeling you want to get out of the relationship, that's fine, it's no ones fault but you are young and people change. If you're just worrying about things your missing out on, being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to spend 24/7 by each other's sides, you can still go out etc...You need to talk to each other about these little things, but not everyone is interested in being young and wild. For me, I couldn't imagine anything worse, by 20 I had enough of clubs - a drink in a nice little pub with good friends was better than having strangers trying to grind up on you and then people vomiting on a roadside, nothing wild about that it was just pointless lol! I valued much more the fact I had a best friend who was my bf, and someone I could have the time of my life with. Having friends who constantly looked for love, and repeatedly failed and having to be the shoulder to cry on when they were used or stood up etc...I felt I hadn't missed out on too much and was very lucky to have had someone all along.Just stay in a relationship for as long as you are happy, when there comes a time you don't feel the same for someone that would be the time to go. Lots of young couples grow apart, but some see it through. I met my husband when we were 17, we waiting to get married until our mid 20's because if you're going to stay together there is no rush (and we couldn't be bothered with the talk behind our backs about being young and married!) It wasn't always easy, but as a couple we got through the things life threw at us (or mainly my family throwing at me...) and rather than grow apart, we grew and changed together; each helping one another to be the best person they could be. I think what you feel is natural, you don't want to hold them back from anything or feel you're missing out but if you're happy and your partner is happy then I wouldn't worry - just enjoy what you have x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 March 2015):
 I married my first husband at 21
what you want at 21 is NOT what you will want at 30....
I think that if you are worried that you need to experience life more you are smart enough to know that getting married now is not a good idea.
do not buy property with him.
promise to stay as long as you are happy...nothing more.
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A
female
reader, lions go rawr +, writes (19 March 2015):
You know, my grandma told me this, and her mother told her this: The more you see of others, the less satisfied you'll be with what you find. In other words, they were saying that dating around often makes your expectations higher with each new 'thing' to come around, and that you'll never find what you want. However, what matters is what you think. Do you think you're being robbed by settling down and not exploring your other options? If so, then settling down won't automatically change your thoughts on this, and will only make you bitter. Does he feel this way? If you feel one way, but if he feels another, it won't work. You two aren't too young to get married if you're happy with him. If you're both happy together and want to be together for the foreseeable future, there is no reason not to stay together. Really it's your call. Others shouldn't influence how you feel. And no one else can tell you what's right for you.
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A
female
reader, MSA +, writes (19 March 2015):
 I don't believe AGE determines whether you are ready for a committed relationship.I have a few friends who started dating in high school, got married, and had children. They now have a loving family and more in love than ever.As for me, my boyfriend proposed to me when I was 19 yrs old. He was 22 yrs old. Over the course of the three years that we were dating, he worked 3 jobs and saved up enough money as down payment for a house. He wanted me to marry him, have children, and be a stay at home mom. I wouldn't have needed to work a day in my life. Right now, that sounds like a pretty good deal, but at age 19 and the wild child I was back then, I could not. I wanted to explore and see the world. We broke up.Only you will know and feel it in your heart whether you want to stay with this guy. If you don't love him enough to see a future with him, then whether you are 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 years old, you still will not see and want a future with him. It's not about age, it's about your heart.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2015): If you love him, get along with him, and see being with him then it must be him and there is nothing out there that is better. I thought the same thing being with my GF since high school and the only thing out there was disappointment. I am still with my GF except we got married. So dont fret what's out there- there is nothing.
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