| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupids,Been seeing a guy for nearly two months, I am 25 him 29. We have been getting on really well, sex is good, we have a laugh together and there doesn't seem to be any awkwardness. We have been seeing each other a couple of times - 3 times a week. However a problem seems to have arisen, but perhaps I am making a fuss over nothing: It was his birthday at the weekend and I feel I could have ruined things. He wanted to spend his birthday with me and we went out for food then came back and watched a film. We had had a lot to drink! I blurted out 'are we together' - he said we were not and that he would rather not have the conversation about 'us' right now. I wish I had not said this as we don't know each other really well and what we are doing is getting to know one another properly - testing the waters. He has introduced me to all his friends - talks about me a lot, + wants me to meet his family. He is also very affectionate + always holding my hand etc. He has also met my parents and some of my friends. He told me (when we were sober) that he hadn't met anyone in a long time who he had wanted to introduce to his family - so what is going on with him? After I had blurted this out and he said he didn't want to talk about it I just dropped the topic and the next day everything was fine and we went out the following night with his friends and some other couples. I am a bit confused as he acts as though we are together!! :( Perhaps I should back off and not maintain as much contact in the next few weeks? If he does want me I should make him work for it, right? Thanks x Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (24 October 2006):
 It does sound like you are together as a couple by everything you have said but maybe you should just continue to go with the way things are at the moment and give it the time to get to that point, it's only been 2 months and maybe he is wanting to take this slowly as to not rush things and spoil them which is understandable.
As long as he isn't seeing others in the same way as you and things are good with you both I don't see the harm in just letting things take their own speed.
Good luck :o)
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (24 October 2006):
 I can see how you would be confused. I'd be confused.What I suggest is maybe giving him a week or two of space and then hanging out again. Just test the waters. If he goes back into the affectionate direction, then maybe talk to him while he's not drunk. Drinking can screw up conversations. This one time, an (ex) boyfriend told me he loved me on the phone. I was drunk, and I just cracked up and hung up on him.Poor guy.I called him back the next day and apologized. I felt so bad. That is probably the cruelest thing I've ever done. I still harbour the guilt from it.Anyhow, maybe take him out to a nice "couple-y" date (dinner, perhaps?) and afterwards, after a nice smooch, bring it up gently. "I just wanted to make this clear for ME..."Good luck!P.S. If he still is in denial, tell him that when he's ready for a relationship to give you a call. Until then - ta ta.
...............................
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (23 October 2006):
Can see why you are confused .. sounds like you are together. You maybe caught him off-guard. Some guys just don't like to talk about It and are better judged on their actions. Don't beat yourself up about "ruining" things - you did the right thing to speak up. Give him space and when he comes back, have the conversation. Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Lostandalone +, writes (23 October 2006):
 Sounds like a good idea. The thing is people can say a lot of things but when it comes to actions they lack the conviction of what they speak. Just back off and see what happens. If he's honest about what he is saying he will come running and if he's not then he will slowly fade away. Sometimes guys need a bit of a push. Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, xLEAHx  +, writes (23 October 2006):
 Well everything you have described seems to me that you two are in a proper relationship and im just as confused as you why he happend to say you wern't together..unless he loves your company ..likes the sex..and dont think of it as a proper relationship..no strings or commitments ..but why take you to meet his parents ect..this guy is just messing with you ..as time goes on doing what you do with him your going to fall in love at some point and he may reject you..i quite agree with what you say back off for a while or maybe have a chat with one of his friends to find out why his like this ..if he really wants more then just a friend and sex partner then he has to proove it to you.. GOOD LUCK xLEAHx
...............................
|
