A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:This man I work with is very sexy to me. We are both married so everything is off limits. We became cool and we talk about our sex life which is boring on both parts. My husband doesn't do some things I like and vice versa on his end. Anyway, I told him I like sex toys and masturbate a whole lot. He was so excited that he asked me to do it in front of him. He is like 62 years old and I'm 30. I told him I will do it over the phone. We have become addicted to phone sex. When we see each other at work, we barley say anything to each other now. I'm embarrassed and I think he is too. Away from work, we have great phone sex almost twice a week. We haven't touched each other in person and don't plan 2. Are we having an affair?
View related questions:
affair, at work, I work with, phone sex, sex life, sex toy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (17 March 2010):
 It's quite simple actually: Tell your husband. If you can tell your husband without any hesitation and you are confident he will be ok with it, then it's not an affair. If you can't tell your husband and you know he would either be hurt or upset, then I'd say it's an affair.But at this point I think deep down you know this is an affair and you are just looking for people to make your feel better and relieve your guilt.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): It's sexually acting out so it's cheating. I think an affair means there's involvement but doesn't seem to be any here so I wonder why you'd put yourself at risk this way with a coworker? It sounds sleazy actually and there are phone sex chat lines that are anonymous.
...............................
A
male
reader, Heartbroken in love +, writes (17 March 2010):
Yeap that's an affair.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ask Jess :-)  +, writes (17 March 2010):
This is a form of cheating...definetly...your both betraying your partners...ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your husband was doing this with a woman behind your back!? If your not happy with your husband then i think you need to sit down and talk with him...but if you do love your husband then why not try masturbating infront of him and having phone sex with him...spice up your own sex life rather than starting a new one with someone else! Its so easy to get carried away with the excitement and naughtyness of doing something you shouldnt with someone else...but remember...the grass isn't always greener on the other side! Jess xxx
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 March 2010):
 What is a love affair ?
An intimate sexual relationship between two people. It could be in the real world, virtual world or your dream or fantasy world.
Anything that is intimate emotionally or sexually with some one who is not your spouse or b/f or g/f is cheating or having an affair.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 March 2010):
Yes. Affairs don't have to be physical. This is an affair. Think about it. If your husband was doing this, would you be happy? No. This is an affair.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): You don't have to be physically touching each other to have an affair. Masturbating with someone else at the same time, in any way at all is having an affair, when you have a partner you should be doing that with. It's obviously something your husband should know about, and if he doesn't, it's still cheating and having an affair behind his back.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): Hiya well obviously you are cheating on your husband but i wouldnt fancify it by calling it an affair. Hes not taking you out and about, spending time or money on you.
You sound a little bemused by your situation and let me explain why.
This guy is twice your age and probably a wiley old thing. Hes been married a long time so im sure hes not going anywhere now. He isnt in love with you. Doesnt want to be with you. Infact his wife may well know what hes doing behind her back and not care, if it keeps him happy and stops him bothering her. Yes its been known!! He just needs his "itch" scratched and thats where you come in. And probably one or two others at work.
Some women will talk about the most intimate areas of their relationships with comparative strangers. Hes been "very sexy" to you, chatting about sex. Hes found out by being "very sexy" to you, that you are sexually frustrated. So hes taking advantage of the situation by having unpaid phone sex with you and its working very well for him! You arent going to ask for more because you are married so hes safe there. And you wouldnt want the embarrassment of work colleagues finding out, hes safe again. So hes quids in while you are wondering what youve got yourself into! Draw a veil over it all and speak to your husband. If things need spicing up in the bedroom its your husband you should be talking to. Heres a thought, call him one day and have phone sex. It might kick start his engine x
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (17 March 2010):
If you have to ask this question, then you have your answer. If that's not good enough for you, yes, you're having an affair. Affairs don't necessarily have to be physical.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): not trying to seem like a dick or anything but if you are in a relationship why would you have phone sex with some old you work with? thats not right i would consider it cheating others might not. i know if i found out my gf was doing things like that i would probably get put in jail. but thats just me if you feel guilty or uneasy about it then stop doing it. and also think about how you would feel if you found out your partner was the one having phone sex with another girl.
...............................
|
