A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone here is my problem its a bit complicated. I met this man in march this year, we started having sex. I went out one night, he got jealous he thought I'd met someone else which I hadn't I told him I only wanted to be with him cos I thought we were a proper couple, then he said he didn't want to be with me properly just sex. that was april we continued to have sex right up until now which we still are, but on tuesday I was supposed to be staying at his but he forgot as he had a lot going on in his family which I understand so I text him we had a argument and I stayed but on the side of his bedside cabinet there was a womans hairgrip, so I asked him if he was having sex with someone else and he said no I'm only seeing you. does this sound like we are together or not? I'm really confused by this as if we are a proper couple we have never discussed it. do you think we are together but he has not mentioned it as he is taking this slowly with me? thank you for any answers
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (20 October 2011):
 Sorry, I have to agree with the others that this is purely sex for him. If you haven't discussed exclusivity and used the labels boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/whatever indicates commitment, then he is not committed to YOU, despite what you may hope.
The only way you can clarify this is if you sit him down and ask him. The problem I see is that he's already said he doesn't want to be with you properly and that it's for the sex. He's been honest about that, I think. The problem is that your clarity of vision is clouded by wishful thinking. You want something so badly that you are ignoring the clear signals he has made.
If you want more, ask for it, if he's not the one, well, drop him and find the guy who YOU DESERVE. You don't deserve to be someone's sex playmate if you want more.
Be good to yourself, see things clearly and move on from him!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (20 October 2011):
 He told you he was only seeing you for sex. So my guess is that he's only seeing you for sex. Now you find some evidence that he may be screwing someone else. Maybe getting yourself checked for any STD's he's passing around would be a wise idea. And think long and hard on whether the sex is worth this sort of arrangement. Because, sex is all you are going to get from it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 October 2011):
 THE OP ASKS: "Do you think we are together but he has not mentioned it as he is taking this slowly with me?"
no honey I don't think that at all.
you are his F*CK buddy... or as they call it now FWB.. sounds so much nicer and makes it so much easier to pretend that there is something there other than sex...
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A
female
reader, uroboros +, writes (20 October 2011):
no, he only needs u for sex, believe me. even if he is having sex with just ju at the moment you are not his girlfriend.
and to be fair to him, he has told u that the first time you asked. he's not plaing games, he's being completely honest.
if you look fore something else, better look elsewhere.
good luck!
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