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How do I help her gain confidence again? She was amazing before! She is now scared and nervous about sex

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships, Health, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 October 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 20 October 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *Charliix writes:

Really need some advice.

I'm gay and ive been dating this amazing girl for about 3 months and its been perfect. Recently however she has been lacking considerable confidence when we have sex, and now its got to the point where she just won't do anything. She says she gets nervous because shes unconfident and scared and just finally reaches the point when she just doesn't want to do it. Most of the time she reaches this decision and I've already pleasured her and kinda waiting for my turn..

the first few times I was understanding and not to bothered about it, but more recently ive been getting frustrated and just don't want it to become unbalanced with me always doing her.

I love her to pieces and sex isn't the most important thing in our relationship, but its still an important factor and im just worried that shes going to get worse and worse.

the last few times we've slept together I've pleasured her, all that time shes been telling me what she wants to do to me and really gets me going.. Then after, we cuddle for a bit then she just falls asleep, and im just layed awake pretty unsatisfied to be honest.

she says that shes feels unconfident because she feels shes crap in bed and can't always make me reach orgasm. But ive told her so many times that I don't need to reach that point to feel satisfied, and I still enjoy it anyway!.. She won't accept that and as I said, she'll just put it off when we're in bed, cuddle for ages then she says shes too tired and falls asleep..

How do I help her gain confidence again? She was amazing before! I was the nervous one when we first starting sleeping together, and now she's completly lost everything she had. I'm starting to think shes actually not attracted to me anymore, and she actually doesnt like doing it , rather it being an unconfidence thing..

please help!!..

View related questions: confidence, gain confidence, orgasm

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A male reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 October 2011):

olderthandirt agony auntThere it is the first sign of a long relationship; the first thing to go is the libido. Sorry my friend there's no good answer to this age-old problem. It's just the way we're all wired or something. After many long years of experiencing the same problem, I've come to realize there's no hope of a happy outcome.

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