A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I've been talking to this guy for months and months..we get along just great. He finally asked me out and he says, "I don't drive. I got a DUI." Sorry, but I was a little dissapointed and I blew him off a couple of times. Then, I was like hmmm let's go out! So we did (live game), and we've gone out once after that (movies and dinner). He's been asking me out again.. I haven't set a date yet. The thing is now we'll talk every now and then, not like before where he would go out of his way to give me a ring. Oh, and he calls me 'buddy.' Is he just seeing it as a hangout kinda thing. Not sure. He does pay for everything when we go out. I offer to pay my share, but he won't take my money. So, I see that as a date, but maybe a friend. Geeez I'm confused!
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female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (9 January 2009):
 Honey you are never going to understand a man! *LOL* They can change like the wind. This is a general view. Sometimes when they want you but they get you then it's time for the switcharoo....They decide they don't really want anything serious and they back off!
If they really liked you in the beginning and you were getting along fine then of course you are going to be confused when they do this. The thing is that sometimes the real honest truth, they are just as confused as you are. They become distant or cold, out of fear to committ or some other feeling. When a man starts to fall for a girl he will sometimes slam on those brakes too!
Since it was a 4 month long pretty decent relationship,I am sure he would have recoginized this also. In most cases a guy who knows he has a good thing is less likely to want it gone completely. Their minds will keep those memories and when they are reminded of you it usually prompts them to call or come by. The best thing for you to do now is to get busy with YOU! Spend time with your friends, be a little more hard to get...don't play hard to get but BE HARD TO GET. This doesn't mean to ignore him, it means to be less available. Don't let him be the focus of your life.
The fact that he calls you *buddy could mean that he really sees you as just a friend, or it could mean that he is covering up. I used to call my guy *Sug(Sugar)or Hon(Honey)just like I did everyone else. I'm a old SouthernBelle. 8-) That was my way of acting like I didn't really know that he liked me, although I had been told many times over 41/2 months prior to his telling me himself. He never told me anything and just acted like he was being nice to everybody just like I was! Come to find out he liked me for over a year before he told me. Then we started dating and he hit those brakes!*LOL* This is the same guy I am with now for almost 3 years.
Just be prepared in case he only wants a friendship, but if you start acting like you don't really care for him that way, he WILL notice. Don't let everybody know your business, it could do more harm than good. If you see him be polite and say hi, but don't stop and talk long. Speak quickly and exit quickly. Don't call him or text and if he calls you be nice and think of a reason you need to get going (taking a shower or eating,etc) then say goodbye and hang up. Don't act like you are too excited that he called.
All of these things will hopefully prompt him to seek you out more. Usually when a guy really likes you but you remain the friend but not giving too much, they will wonder why and usually they WILL SEEK to FIND OUT WHY. It usually brings them to you for answers or a chance at reconnecting
Settle back girl and let him come to you. If he likes you, once given his *SPACE there might be a chance that he will want to draw you back into his life again. Sometimes it never happens but if this is the case don't worry, GOD DOES HAVE SOMEBODY FOR YOU! Taking your time and not getting involved too quickly with someone else can certainly give you the time to do your own thing and have fun while letting others see who you really are. Always be kind and genuine in anything you do, GUYS really do NOTICE!
MY BEST TO YOU AND I HOPE YOU GET WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. STEP BACK AND LET HIM COME TO YOU, IT COULD BE A REAL SURPRISE WHO IT MIGHT TURN OUT TO BE!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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