A
female
age
30-35,
*oeismeanyou
writes:So there is a guy that I really like, but I'm confused about what we are. We went out for a few dates etc and really hit it off. We have similar interest and I would like to go to the next level with him. So far we've went on about 4 dates. Recently, I've been to his house (about twice, third time today) and both times we just hung out, and honestly we had sex (it was spontaneous), and even hung out after. Three out of the 4 times we hung out, we kissed like we were a couple, which brings me to this confusion. I know we're not hooking up (I've had a hook-up once so I know what it's like) and this feels like a relationship with the kissing and such. But I'm not sure if we're in a relationship since we haven't had the discussion yet. I don't want to give him the idea that I just welcomed myself to being his girlfriend, so I don't know what this is. So are we still technically dating? I want to have a discussion with him, how do I go about it? Thank you guys for your answers! Sometimes I could be clueless.
View related questions:
kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 April 2015):
 You are still dating. No you haven't welcomed yourself to be his gf, if any I share with suzzzque 232 the doubt you may have welcomed yourself to be his FWB. If all these four dates consisted in hanging out at his place and having sex.... I realize that at the very beginning it's hard to cool your jets, then again, if he likes you, I think by the 4rth date he should want to take you out and sort of flaunt you around... and / or share interests/ preferred activities also out of the bedrooom..
Btw, I know mine is a dumb question, but I really don't get the " we kiss like a couple " thing. Why, do only official couples kiss ? If it was just an hook up ( not saying it is ), or a fling, or a fuck buddy situation... you would not kiss ?! What would you do, - go home with him then straight for the kill ?!. I could understand if you said " we kissed in public " which is a coupley thing ... but alone at his home for hours , attracted to each other , in an intimate situation,... how could you NOT kiss ?
A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (16 April 2015):
 you're just dating at this point. dating is not necessarily the same as hooking up. hooking up is just about sex......dating is about building a foundation for a relationship and getting to know each other. if you confront him and start demanding a relationship he might pull away and get scared. test him him to see if he's really interested in YOU or just the sex. don't always be available when he wants to see you and next few times you do see each other, try not to have sex and if he gets pissy then you can try to bring it up. do not get confrontational and demanding, just be sweet and ask for clarification.
...............................
A
female
reader, suzzzque232 +, writes (16 April 2015):
 these is the classic scenario of a fwb. you might see it as the begininng of a relationship but he probably sees you just as someone he likes to hang out with and alsohave sex with.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2015): You are still technically dating. You haven't discussed being exclusive; and you may want to wait a few more dates, to see how consistent he is with how well he treats you. You don't mention the time-frame you've been seeing each other.
Days, weeks, months?!
Don't be afraid to ask him where this is going. Just don't expect him to be quick to commit, if sex comes too easily.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2015): I'm old fashioned.
I don't consider myself his girlfriend unless he asks me to be.
...............................
|
