A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need everyones advice. Ladies and guys too. I have a bf that is a typical guy. He has cheated before. I've seen other girls phone numbers on his phone and he denies it. But us girls have this instinct that never fails. I know for a fact that he's is completely different when he's not around me. Don't get me wrong I know he loves me but not the right away. The thing is that i have talked to his mother about how he is and how he's not responsible and all he cares about is his friends and she says that its not right but u have to let a man be a man and that eventually he will man up. Now she hasn't said it in these exact words but by what she has said that's what she means. Is that right? Are us women suppose to put up with men unfaithfullness and childish behavior because they refuse to grow up and man up? or is she just nuts????? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, eddie  +, writes (31 May 2008):
 That seems to be pretty common in the Caribbean. I've lives there and have MANY friends and family from that area. Men cheating is VERY common and almost accepted as a variation of normal. I could never get accustomed to it when I spent a year down there.
It is not a good thing. It's wrong on many levels, mostly, the fact that you don't like it. It spreads disease, breaks hearts and cause problems.
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (31 May 2008):
 "But us girls have this instinct that never fails."
Ah right. Delusional much?
If your instinct never fails you why did you hook up with this guy?
Didn't your instincts tell you what he was like before you got involved? Or did your instincts fail you?
As long as women put up with this kind of behavior they are going to have to put up with it. Don't expect a dog to stop begging at the table when you feed it at the table.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): I think she's nuts. No woman deserves to put up with a man that is childish/unfaithful, as we deserve to be made happy in a relationship and not upset! Relationships were never meant to be a task or a trial, we should be close with someone because they make us happier than anyone else. And if a man is unfaithful or childish beyond being 'fixed', then why should we feel pressured to stay with them?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): So DUMP him then. It amazes me how many women come on this site bleating on about how there boyfriend/husband is cheating on them. There's a line as far as you can see of decent guys just waiting to be given a chance. But you stick to the same sort of guy just cos he looks a bit cute. Pathetic.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): She's nuts. She loves her little "boy" and is keeping him a little boy. She wants you to put up with his bad behaviour because she dose, or maybe her husband cheats on her too.
In a good relationship, a man only wants to have sex with his woman, he wants to spend time with her and hates to hurt her. This man dosen't care. Your not his girlfriend your just "one amongst equals". You give him sex, others give him sex, if you leave tomorrow he will replace you.
Find somebody who gives you the love you deserve, who treats you nice and dosen't make you cry. Who honors your relationship and couldn't have sex with another woman without feeling so guilty that he could die. There are plenty of men like this, your boyfriend is one of the rare unfaithfull kinds that women like me call "A Player".
He's A Player baby, and you are his plaything. Go find a real man with real feelings and loyalty to you and your relationship.
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A
female
reader, angelrockheart  +, writes (31 May 2008):
Hun you don't deserve this - I have put up with it for two years with my current boyfriend and I believe he is still cheating - It's time to have a serious talk ( not shouting) with him . You need to discuss his behaviour, and if he refuses tell him that , if his behaviour continues, your relationship will not work- good luckx
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