A
female
age
36-40,
*herrytree
writes: I have been married for 5 years and we have a daughter that just turned 4. I recently found out about a relationship that he has been having with another woman. He reposesses cars for a living so he is often out all night and all day long. This woman is a friend of a man that he has become friends with over the past year. He is supposedly with him 24-7 working. He was out with this woman alone til 2am one night. I know this because I called him around 11:30pm because I woke up to find about 20 spiders hanging from my ceiling and my daughter's. I was totally freaked out. He refused to speak to me, said he was with this male friend. He didn't call me until 2am when he dropped his friend off. I had to take my daughter to my dad's house until we could take care of the problem the next day. I knew he was not with this man that night, I felt it. I confronted him and he admitted he was with the woman. he said she wasnt even his friend, she was his friends friend. It was work related. (huh?) I found out he has been in contact with her for over 6 months. But supossedly it was only in passing through his friend. He never spoke to her to saw her. (hmm) I decided to contact her and she denied even knowing anyone with my husbands name, then she said she knew of him but never ever met him, then she said she has been working with him but never met him, then she told me I was a crazy person for even thinking she knew him and need to go to therapy and get meds! then she called my husband right away!!!!! (funny how she has the phone number of a man she has never heard of before) to tell him that I contacted her. he was upset with me, told me her man was angry with her. WHY IS THAT MY FAULT! He was mad that she was sneaking around with another man all night long, not because I contacted this trashy woman! Anyways, my husband still says it was business, he never thought of her in that way, they are not in contact anymore. I wanted to believe him at the time (about 3 weeks ago) but it bother's me that he told me he was with his male freind and wouldn't speak to me when she was in the car with him that night. (even though it was an emergency) She heard him lie to me about who he was with (doesn't sound professional to me). And she knew to lie to me about knowing him. Even after i told her he admitted to being with her that night, she still said she never met him before in her life. I don't know what to think. He wont admit anything more than he already has. I don't even know if i can be sure that they are not still seeing each other.Or that they hadn't been seeing each other alot before this. He said that was the first time he ever met her. His male friend that introduced them is with him 24-7. She could still be hanging out with them (even though it's all supossedly "work") I need help trying to make sense of all this. Am i making a big deal out of nothing? Should I just let if all go, believe him, and move on?
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female
reader, cherrytree +, writes (28 June 2010):
cherrytree is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your responses. I guess I already knew they were having an affair and he was lying or I wouldn't have been writing on this website. I just really wanted to believe that it was all innocent. Thank you for the wake up call!!!!!!
A
female
reader, bey0nbeauty +, writes (27 June 2010):
 honestly, if a committed married couple was in this predicament. any loving husband would come to his wife if she had any situation she needed him in. Rather its an emergency or not. "for better or worse, through thick and thin" obviously he was having an affair. If he wasnt having an affair he would have told you the truth, like wise he lied to you which means he was having an affair. he isnt honest with you. let him and the unhonest bitch that he was with be unhonest with each other. let them be and move on. but for the sake of your daughter keep them together. just because ur daughter and him have to have a relationship. you dont!
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A
female
reader, maxxie +, writes (25 June 2010):
 it seems to me like he may be cheating. he was too defensive when you called him at 11:30 and this women was obviously lying.
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