A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (29) and I (25) were really enjoying having sex the other night and when he wanted to have anal sex I said no because I knew that my stomach was not up for it. He knows that I really do not like it yet I have promised to continue doing it every now and then because he really likes it.Long story short, he goes on to tell me that we were done having sex and if I wanted to reach orgasm that I should touch myself. I said that it was okay and that I would wait until the next time he and I had sex. He refused to let that happen and told me I had to use the vibrator to come otherwise he would know that someone else was pleasing me. And then he told me that I was not being sexy enough while I was touching myself.I finished and went to the washroom to shower. When I came out of the washroom, I was upset with the earlier events and tried to talk to him but he refused. I started to eat a bag of chips I had been eating and noticed that they were a little soggy. He had masturbated into the bag of chips and watched me eat it and said nothing other than that I deserved it. Later after he used the washroom, he 'shook off' on my feet on purpose. Are these actions normal for a man who is almost 30 years old and in a relationship for a year and a half?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 February 2015): You did dump this guy rite?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2009): He's a dumb arse for doing those things to you and your a dumb arse for putting up with his crap. Surely out of the two of you a smart arse will come out and change the situation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2009): after all this you are still with him?? why?
i get worried when women still choose to stay with their perverts. don't know who needs counselling more.
sick and perverted man.
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (18 October 2009):
 Speaking of moving... I think I WILL move to Tristan de Cunha!! With the sickos in this world... I want to get as far away as possible.
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (17 October 2009):
Normal! He's disgusting and controlling. Get rid of right now! You deserve better that this. Anyone does.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): This guys sounds like a dirtball. I am not sure what is worse though his actions or you asking if that is normal! What he did is totally not normal and you are too good to be with someone that is that disturbing. As woman we need to stick up for ourselves and not put up with those behaviors. He sounds like he has some screws loose!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): Well he sounds like a right loser to me.His age is pretty irrelevant really.The dirty SOB aint even house trained.I suggest you take him to that Ceasar Milan chap.He likes a challenge.Failing that..Kick him out princess.You can do better than him i bet.
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female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (17 October 2009):
 Heck no these aren't normal actions, and he should find himself minus one girlfriend shortly. What a selfish immature POS!
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (17 October 2009):
I agree with Grimm Reality. This guy deserves to have his ass kicked. Why would you want a man like that???
Hey Grimm Reality do you read Curtis (the comic strip)? Because that's what Curtis is about this week... the Dysentery Value Meal, lol. They did clean it up a little bit, though. Instead of defecating on the sandwich, Curtis replaces the tuna fish with cat food.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (17 October 2009):
 In my opinion, no woman would want this jerk.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): His actions are troubling, and abusive. Odds are good that he's going to get worse. For your sake, you need to end this 'relationship' and distance yourself. If you make the mistake of sticking around (for the ride down) it's going to get ugly... For your own sanity and safety, terminate this relationship.
BTW, most all women find that if they're going to participate in anal sex that they need to COMPLETELY TRUST their partner- this is NOT the kind of guy that too many girls would allow to enjoy that specail treat... he blew it BIG TIME. Please, go find a man who is worthy of you- this one is NOT...
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): this is totally unacceptable. If you have any self respect you will dump him. He is a low life. No second chance. At all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): I have never heard of such gross behavior. Your "boyfriend" has no conscience and I would think he may very well be a sociopath, you might want to Google that word and school yourself on the traits.
He is really super weird, super gross, super inconsiderate, I would change my phone number, email, change the locks on my door and never have anything to do with him ever again. What a sick F***k! How many more opinions do you need? Surely, you did not even have to ask this question, if I had been you I would have called 911.
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male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (17 October 2009):
 LMAO! Are you kidding me?
No thats not normal, he is punishing you for not acceeding to his wishes.
I mean Ive heard of taking a crap on a sandwich and covering it with mustard and corned beef to get somebody back at work for stealing your lunch(The Dysentery Value Meal), but masturbating in your Potato Chips and feeding them to someone you supposedly love as punishment for not performing and then flipping his urine drops on your feet is downright cause for you to jump up and kick the shit out of him.
This man is obviously an insanely jealous and controlling man. Sounds like he is a member of GWAR!
Please have nothing more to do with this jack off...Have to say though I would not want to be at a Super Bowl party around this guy at the Deli Tray...YUCK!
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female
reader, OmShantih +, writes (17 October 2009):
 Thats Vile!
Show him the door, thats just plain wrong!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): So he's saying that you deserved it because you refused anal sex while knowing full well that you never enjoyed anal sex in the first place but only do it occasionally to please him?
You need to gain some control back in this relationship. It seems as though he's walking all over you. The fact that he acted this way when you refused anal sex tells me that he's very used to getting his way and therefore he's not used to and cannot take any rejection. In addition, he seems emotionally abusive, extremely self centered and vengeful. Not to mention immature. You gotta show this man that his behaviour is unacceptable and put your foot down. Set your boundaries and let it known when they have been crossed. That is utter disrespect what he did there. That is not normal behaviour period, no matter how old he is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): No, that's neither normal, nor, in most relationships, acceptable. The most charitable thing I can say is that his idea of normal is not consistent with yours, and as such you should move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): these actions seem normal for a thirteen year old rather than 30, u shouldn't have to do something if you dont want to, and he is just behaving like an idiot for no good reason, he probably might have been a bit upset that he couldn't be pleasured as he wanted to but thats no excuse, but you dont feel bad if u didnt want to at the time, he should be understanding.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2009): 'Are these actions normal?'
Perhaps. No, come to think of it, I doubt these actions are very commonplace.
Your boyfriend is one sick f**k. Tell him you agree that you're 'done having sex', and get rid of him post haste. I think you need to move to the Moon or the Antarctic and still wouldn't be far enough away from him for comfort.
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female
reader, cc62955p +, writes (17 October 2009):
wow....he sounds like a total freak. You do not deserve what that man did to you and you should maybe tell him how it made you feel and stick up for yourself. His actions were considered abuse, I would have been disgusted if any man did that to me. Im sorry you had to deal with that, he sounds like a very perverted guy who hates women and im sure he has treated women badly before, either that or he was very lonely and bitter before he met you and is taking out his aggression and anger on you for it. The man needs some psychological help.
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