A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a girl of the age of 16, wanting to go out with a boy of 25. We have flirted a bit, but i know if he likes me enough, will ask me out. The thing is, before we get too close to each other ( getting into a relationship), i want to know if it would be wrong for us to see each other? I want to know the opinions of people of around the age of 25 and people my age.I really like him and believe that he will/does feel the same way too. Are there any ways to comfirm that he likes me a lot? - as i can be quite love blind.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): Right, I dont want you taking this the wrong way but I was in the same situation as you and I will tell you my story. I will explain the pros and cons to the relationship-if you decide to have one.
I was 16 when I met this lad who was 24 at the time. We both knew that people would frown upon us being together, but our feelings for each other were very very strong. The way people would look at it caused many rows between us before we had even got together as a couple. Well, we ended up getting together and now 3 years on, we are still head over heels in love, very comfortable, happy and are recently engaged, and now planning our future.
Now- I did lie to my parents about his age at first- but after about 1 & half years i told my step mum- and she was totally cool about it because she really liked him and she was just upset that i wasnt honest with her at the beginning. It is very hard to go out with someone a lot older than you- so many people frown upon it and can say some hurtful things and you have to be prepared for those times. His family found it strange at first, but as they got to know me, things turned out great.
With our relationship- we find what keeps ours so fresh and happy is that we both are into different things and we both teach each other and have grown together in doing this. It takes a hell lot of trust to make a realtionship like this work. We knew each other a bit before we got together so its good to know about the person before you decide that you want to be with them. It takes two to make a relationship work- you both have to be very commited to each other to be able to overcome some of the difficulties that an age gap realtionship can have.
Maybe you need to just be friends for a while, and get to know each other before you decide on anything. You need to understand each other and see what you both want- with relationships, love and life. We had some tough times at the beginning of our relationship- and this was because of other people.
So, just have a good think and talk before you do anything. I used to wish I wasnt with anyone just because i saw other people my age going out and having fun and having lots of boyfriends. My suggestion is get to know him a bit better and just see what happens. No one can say you can't be with this guy- its not illegal. It perfectly normal and very common for girls to have boyfriends who are older but some may think he is too old. You are the person that will be in the relationship with this guy. You need to understand what you both want from relationships and not just jump into something that could end up a mistake.
XXX
A
female
reader, superrrshawna  +, writes (6 September 2008):
 i definitely do not recommend it. when i was a senior in high school i went out with a guy who was 25 or so... he was in law school! and there are just too many differences, especially since you are 2 years younger than i was at that time. i'm sure you could make a list of everything he has done and everything he is allowed to do in his life and a list of everything you still need to do and aren't allowed to do. [vote? be legally called an adult? graduate from high school let alone college?]
when it gets down to it though, i just have to wonder what is wrong with him and why he can't date girls his own age. 25 year old women have a lot more to offer in a different sense- why isn't he trying for their attention? they're a little bit wiser... maybe you should ask yourself why he hasn't found anyone his own age.
if you need any more convincing, you know where to find me!
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