A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:There's this boy that I really like from college, and I'm a bit confused because he exhibits ALL the signs of being into me in person but doesn't message me that often. I can't tell if it's because exams are coming up and he needs A*s for uni, because up until like two weeks ago we talked online quite frequently.I also don't know whether I should ask him out soon, because we literally leave college in two weeks and I don't want to miss any opportunities with him, but I also really value him as a friend and don't want to mess that up. Are there any ways of telling for certain whether he's into me or not? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, N91 +, writes (13 May 2017):
 Okay, so you're currently friends but you want more.
Would you rather take the risk and ask him out or miss the chance and let him get together with someone else? If he says no, the friendship may be lost but you're no longer wondering what if. If he says yes, fantastic.
Life is too short not to go after what you want.
A
male
reader, birdwriter  +, writes (13 May 2017):
 Two weeks? Well, you're going to have to get his attention somehow. If you don't, he'll be gone and it'll too late.Generally though, the only way I would say you can tell if a guy likes you is how much time is he willing to spend with you. The more he's around, the more likely he will be willing to be with you. Same can be said the other way around.So if you really like being around him, spend some time around him any time he gets a free chance or an opening to do so. Get into some of the activities he is into or offer to be his study partner.However, eventually you will have to pop the question of going out somewhere and if you don't, you will regret it if you don't act soon. After all, the things you regret the most are the things you didn't do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2017): Not really. It might even take you a little time to know for sure if you're really into him. You can have first impressions of people based on false-perception; or desperation can make you see only what you want to see.
I often read these posts, a high percentage of them come from women and girls. Guys just don't always come right out and let them know if he likes her. Mainly because guys value our freedom and independence; so we aren't that quick to give it up. There's a lot to be said for coming and going as you please, and not having to account to anyone for your whereabouts. Being able to flirt freely with anyone at anytime, and being basically aimless. Just being a guy.
Loneliness sets-in, and we began to need comfort and love. When the right lady, or guy, comes along; we can't help but let them know we're ready. We want to share our time and see them as much as we can. That doesn't mean we want to be smothered or clung to. Most guys can tell a needy or desperate person from a mile away. We intuitively keep our distance, or our fight or flee instincts kick-in.
In my own experience, I've learned the more someone is into you; the more time they like to spend being with you. Not just messaging me and always making themselves accessible by text messages. I mean call me, ask me out, and when we're together it is quality-time. If you've got your phone out the whole time we're together, you like your phone. Not me!
I do not gauge anyone's feelings for me by the number of times they send me text messages with silly little emojis.
I hate texting, but I love my boyfriend. I'm glad he doesn't judge my feelings by messages; because I prefer seeing and talking to him face to face. Yes we message throughout the day, but we are people who prefer showing and expressing our emotions through contact and interaction with one another.
That's how it began, and remains; four years as of April.
Call him and ask him if he'd like to spend time with you before end of term? You would like to see him. Don't go into a speech about your feelings or lay it all on the table; just let him know you would like to spend some time. He may have been busy with studies for the exams; if he hasn't been in-touch throughout the semester.
If he doesn't seem that enthusiastic or jump at the opportunity to see you. There's your answer.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (13 May 2017):
 No, there aren't any cast-iron ways to know if someone is into you; will he be faithful and true; will he love you as you want to be loved?
We all use some indefinable sensors to assess our partner to be. As time goes on, and we learn more - our evaluation becomes better defined.
At the beginning, knowing what you know, you are really gambling - will this one be a winner or not? Use your intuition and the good sense your parents gave you.
And never stop taking a calculated risk. You could be wrong, but it could bring you the most rewarding experience known to man.
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A
male
reader, rasblak  +, writes (13 May 2017):
"I also really value him as a friend and don't want to mess that up"From your standpoint, you're putting whatever it is of your personality into this interaction, that makes the friendship "valuable", because in reality you are hoping for more, and you feel the potential for 'more' for the two of you.Take that element out, say there's no potential for 'more' for you to bank on. Would it still be as important to you to, still, ... go out of your way, so to speak, to actively feed that friendship?If not, then you might as well just ask him out. At the end of the day, that hope/potential/interest coming from you is bound to dwindle out anyway. More importantly, a genuine friendship that can stand on its own merit would not be messed up by one asking the other whether they think 'more' would work between the two of them.
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