A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was just wondering.. are there lots of people who are quite open-minded when it comes to sex?I've only had one boyfriend before, we were together for a few months but never had sex (I wanted to wait before I lost my virginity to him but we ended up breaking up before we had sex). In terms of sex, there's lots of things that turn me on and I want to try. Like experimenting with different positions, oral sex, anal sex, anal fingering, rimming.. i like the idea of kinky stuff like bondage and spanking lol. And yeh other stuff, nothing overly hardcore but I'd like to experiment with different things.Anyway, I know my ex-boyfriend would have been open to doing most things I wanted to try, and I was thinking, are a lot of other people like this? Like, willing to try out a lot of stuff sexually. Sometimes I wonder if I'll find another person who's like this.Can I just say, sex isn't the main thing I look for in a relationship, it's not a top priority, other things come first - whether we can have good conversations, have fun, can he make me laugh, is he intelligent, etc. But I was just wondering the likelihood I'd find someone who I'm "sexually compatible" with.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 December 2010):
 I've rarely met someone who wasn't open for trying new things, the problem is that after you have tried new things one partner might like it and the other don't. In addition to finding someone open minded there are a number of factors that determine whether or not the sex life will be good or not. Such things as general sexual compatibility. For example he could be a selfish lover who wants to try new things only as long as they please him, and isn't attentive to your needs etc, or he could have a lower or higher sex drive than you, which is horrible if you're stuck as the one with a higher sex drive always feeling rejected.... Being open about new things really isn't the biggest factor to a good sex life if you ask me. The greatest sex is the plain old stuff with someone who knows how to please you, if you ask me.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Define "open minded".
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A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 a lot of people confuse love and sex.
you can have lots of good sex without love, but finding the right guy could be a problem. there are a lot of weird guys out there waiting to prey on an inexperienced girl like you, so take care.
but dont let that put you off. there are some good dating websites just for this reason. dont rush things and they will happen for you.
find a nice guy, loose the virgin status and go on from there, and good luck.
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A
male
reader, TimmD  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 There's no easy "yes or no" answer to your question. There are many people out there who are open minded to sex, but there are an equal amount of people who are more reserved or have ideas on what is "too much" when it comes to sex. To some people, anal and rimming would freak them out.
In my experience, sexual exploration and "openness" comes from the closeness you have with your partner. Partners are more likely to be open with sex between each other when they trust each other and are comfortable with each other.
What I'm trying to say is if you meet a guy and you share many interests and feel you are compatible even before you have sex, you should have no worries once you introduce sex into your lives. However, if you jump into a sexual relationship rather quickly, there is a good chance you two will be surprised by each others fantasies and turn ons.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 December 2010):
 100% likelihood if you are willing to look hard and be patient.
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