A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts. Ive never had a long term relationship. The longest ive dated is three months. All the guys i date seem to start questioning the relationship at some point. Ive been told by both girls and guys that im very beautiful and ive the right shape. Guys are attracted to me. They hit on me everywhere i go even my pastor(a story for another day) at church! Im a loving, kind and caring person i dress normal clothes and i hardly wear make up. When i wear make up i put a very small amount still I cant keep a man! I think my traits come from home. I live with people who dont care if the house and the yard are clean or not. My family does not clean and that upsets me. I like a clean environment so when im home im the organizer. I tell them how to keep the house clean and why the house should stay clean. They mess up the house all the time and ive to be the one to come and tell them to clean up. The house is always clean and refreshing when im home and i can see that they enjoy the house when its clean but they dont want to clean up! They always complain! Today i told my little brother (age 16) to wash his plate and clean up the table after eating he was complaining while busy washing the plate. Then my father said "if you marry a woman like your im sure you will divorce her sooner". My little brother replied "i wont even marry her to begin with". I was shocked and hurt at the same time. How ungrateful! I help them become better people but allowing them to stay in a clean environment but they dont care anyway. My last boyfriend told me im assertive. Last night my potential boyfriend told me that im such a possessive lady i need to change or happiness will pass me by. Ive dated many guys some wanted sex and at that time i didnt want to lose my virginity so they end up proposing other girls then i dump them. All of the guys ive dated somehow come back and ask for love backs. I took some back but it still didnt work out. I need help especially from male readers. Im not sure how im possessive with guys usually i let them be the guy but they end up losing interest they just ignore me.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 June 2016):
 You may look beautiful and have guys come on to you all the time, but you need to have the personality to match it if you want to keep a guy. Reading your post my guess is that you are bossy and it is your way or no way. When you are in a relationship you need to meet in the middle with the other person, you need to both come to an agreement and it cannot be your way all the time, that is what a relationship is all about. If you want to clean up after yourself well that's great, but you cannot force others to do the same.
A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (19 June 2016):
 Don't worry too much, you're still very young and you have your whole life before your for long term relationships and marriage. You don't have to do anything to attract guys; the right guy will like you for who you are. And why are you allowing guys to comment on you? This potential boyfriend has no business telling you how you are and that you won't be happy unless you change.
I think the problem is that you're investing your happiness in others hands. Forget the guys for now, just focus on yourself. You'll get a boyfriend when the time is right; meanwhile focus on your studies and your career. That's why more important at your age than being able to hold on to a guy.
As regards your family, they are how they are and they won't change. All you can do is keep your room and surroundings clean and don't let their comments get to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2016): You dont need to lose confidence over incidents like these regarding your dad and younger brother because that is exactly what a younger brother would say!You are looking for a soul mate and this means that its not a case of "anyone will do regardless of who so long as theyre a man!"If you intend to get married to a man you will want a clean and tidy house so you will be looking for someone with the same ideals and values.I expect you could fall for a sexy motorbiker providing he kept his mechanics only to the shed!But at your young age you shouldnt worry if your other half takes his time to appear, because he will.Not putting out is not a problem because it spares you a whole lot of problems!All you need to do is to support your younger brother who is too inexperienced to answer such a silly remark by dad!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (19 June 2016):
 Don't change your standards, but stop trying to change other people. They don't *want* to be bossed around by you. Let them live in a dump, just clean what's yours. It's frustrating and annoying for a tidy person to be around that, but you're not helping them; they resent you. If this bossy behaviour leaks into your relationships, people will get tired of it. Find someone who is already at your standards.
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