A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright so I'm not sure if this is the right place to be asking for advice here seeing as to how it has nothing to do with a relationship, but I need help with it anyways so any advice you've got is appreciated.I'm 17 and my parents keep nagging on me for drinking, they seem to think I'm a full blow alcoholic, that's not the case, I drink on the weekends, much like alot of other 17 year olds.My dad's highly against anyone drinking since my grandfather was an alcoholic, so my dad has lost pretty much all respect for me.I'm wondering how I can explain to them that I'm not an alcoholic, and that what I'm doing isn't that big a deal, because it's really not. My parents are big time squares so I've got no idea how to tell them this in a way that it will mke any sense.I've tried a few times and they keep giving me the same song and dance about how I'm addicted and what I'm doing is morally wrong.Any tips?Thanks.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): When i went through this with my parents, it just took time for them to learn that i was being responsible with my drinking. so yeah, i had to lie some to get around it. but in the end, they new i wasnt driving and doing anything dangerous in public. i was always staying at a friends whos mom worked at night. each situation will be different here, we dont know your parents.
but you will do what you want right? haha
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies, and I have been drunk around them, neither of them drink though, their idea of someone being drunk is ridiculous, they seem to think if you're drunk you're automatically a violent lunatic.
Sure from time to time I'll get drunk and do something stupid, but I've been drinking every weekend now since I was 14, and they're just noticing now.
They seem to think I've just started drinking, mostly because I've been more honest with them, I figure I'm 17 so I don't need to hide it from them, although I still do to a degree just so they don't kill themselves worrying.
Another thing that they panic over is the amount I'll drink, I've got a fairly good tolerance for my age, but they think 3 beers is enough for a grown man to be wrote off, which is ridiculous.
The only time I've been drunk in their presence and they've noticed was a night where I drank 16 beers, and even then I wasn't staggering or anything.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): If it's any consolation, you'll do the same with your kids when you become a parent!
I guess what it really comes down to is whether your parents have genuine concerns about YOU drinking, or alcohol in general.
If it's alcohol in general, then you're not going to be able to convince them any differently UNLESS you do bring it back to you and your drinking & letting them see that you can have one or two and leave it at that... but can you do that? Or are you a binge drinker that goes out with the purpose of getting drunk, and often find yourself in places / situations that aren't the best?
Can you go without drinking when you do go out --don't answer that by "yes, but I don't want to" because that means you can't. Try it & let your parents know that you've done that a few times and that alcohol IS something you can take or leave, and you'll probably find them backing off a bit more.
Also, be responsible when you drink... i.e. never drink & drive or they'll know then that alcohol is an overriding factor for you, above & beyond yours or anyone else's safety... and that DOES indicate problems.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007): There is some research that suggests that alcoholism can be inherited, so I fully support your parents' concerns.
They know how damaging and potentially life-threatening this disease is - and it IS a disease - and how it tears great holes in families and relationships and destroys lives.
The problem is that you can be hooked on the stuff before you realise it. It gradually creeps up on you like a silent assassin.
If you go binge drinking there's more chance it will get you. Drinking in moderation is the key. Show it some respect and be careful of it, and listen to your parents who have experience on the subject - they generally know best.
Phil
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Your parents are normal - as any parent would worry about their teenage child drinking. If you are sure that you have it all under control, sit them down, and talk to them. Tell them you understand their worries. Tell them that you know they are concerned for your health, and that you know your grandfather was an alcoholic - and you know the consequences of drinking. Tell them you have no intention of turning out like him, and show them that you are responsible about it.
Try and reach a compromise. Ask them to show you a bit of trust. Rather go out drinking only one night a week, instead of the entire weekend. Also - try spending some time with them after you've had a few.
Parents just want what's best for their children, so don't take that away from them.
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (1 November 2007):
 Sit down and chat with them about how you feel and why they nag you so much. Yes 17 year old drinks a lot and i'm sure you aren't an alcoholic, but after having a member in the family suffer and with all the press about binge drinking and alcohol related violence I don't blame parents from worrying a little.
Do your parents see you drunk? Can you try and go home and be around them after drinking on night to show them you dont get plastered?
Your parents are just worried in the same way mine did when I went out drinking. Difference with me was I was 15 wehn I started going out properly and because they didn't like it I did it behind their back which led to rows and me worrying the hell out of them more.
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