A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i met a mutual guy friend and we hit it off really well. we've only been out alone once since but it was very comfortable and he asked for my number and also flirted with me a little. it seemed like he was interested, whether it was dating or just hanging as friends. however, recently i've just asked him to go out and i haven't heard back from him. are guys turned off by girls making the first move? or was he just playing games with me all along?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): Give him some time to respond. He may not know what to make of it. All of my female friends told me to never make the first move, that he'll do it if he liikes you enough. However, theres a ton of factors that could prevent that from happening. While you shouldnt put all your eggs in one basket, still look into the situation and make sure you've done your part. Once you've done all you can do, move on. If he has he means to reestablish contact with you, he will do so when the urge is strong enough.A guy I recently dropped (because I misinterpreted his actions) recently came back into my life. he wasn't dating other people and apparently he's liked me for a year. He didn't make a move because he felt like he couldnt offer me the time and attention a girlfriend would need because of his work schedule and homelife. Actually, he did not always respond to things I sent him but later I found that he wanted to. He also was recieving mixed signals from me, which were occurring because he was unsure of the situation himself. I made one last attempt, and now we're going on a date. We both couldnt be happier!I would say you need to look at the situation honestly. See if he is truly showing signs of interest and if he is treating you properly. Wait a a while (a week or two maybe), and invite him out in a more calm and less intimidating setting. Try giving him some space as well so he doesn't feel his space is being encroached on but try to give solid signals about how you feel. This way, he'll have little to no question and can respond if he feels the need. Sometimes guys need a litle extra push, they can be as shy as girls sometimes. :)But, if worst comes to worst and he never answers...remember that a lack of response is in fact a respose (and a cowardly one at that).
A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Jmtmj is right (as usual). Men get so tired of being expected to do all the chasing, face all the rejection, make all the plans... When a woman asks a man out, it's a breath of fresh air to finally stop playing the guessing game! Now he KNOWS she's interested. Now he KNOWS she'll go out! Ahhhh no fear or worry... Some men like the conquest of winning over hard to get girls, but those looking for a stable, no game playing, mature relationship would love to be approached.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Just like Jmtmj said. If a guy actually likes you and you make the first move he will all too gladly jump at the chance and make the right moves back. If he didn't respond then he just wasn't as into you as he seemed. Perhaps it was all a game to him on trying to get as many phone numbers as possible. It happens. Or perhaps he found someone he liked more, or perhaps he changed his mind.
Or perhaps he's just lazy, really likes you, but hasn't gotten around to replying yet. Did you ask him by text? Why not give him a call instead and get a direct response. If he says no then leave it at that and he wasn't that interested. If he says yes then.. well, there you go! Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (17 March 2011):
 Read a self-help book and it'll say that yes, guys are turned off by a girl making the first move. It'll also say we love to chase and if we like a girl enough then we'll make the first move, blah blah blah. Garbage.
This has not been my experience WHATSOEVER and I know that I'm FAR from alone. If a guy likes you and you make the first move, he'll make one right back.
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