A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:About 4 days ago I asked for some advice on here regarding my first meet with my ldr. I don't really want to explain the whole story again but for those who want to know here is the linkhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/after-4-years-i-finally-met-my-ld.htmlFor those of you who don't want to read about it I'll try to simplify it the best I can. I've known my ldr for over 4 years now. During these 4 years we have never met until this last Friday but we have always talked on the phone, I'M, webcam, email, we would send pictures, etc, so we really know a lot about each other and knew what we look like. We were so excited about the day coming even though we knew we'd have limited interaction due to the fact that we were meeting in a public place and let's just say we were on a tour so we only communicated a little bit, both extremely nervous and shy, and managed to give each other only a hug and a kiss. In total we only got to see eachother for about an hour and a half.This isn't how we wanted to meet but we took advantage of the situation to do so. She came up to vist a university here where I live so we took advantage of that to meet but she really is going to go there as so am I. The problem is after visiting I began to feel very emotional and weird and didn't know if it was normal or not. Didn't know if I was just disappointed cause it was so quick and we didn't get to do much, didn't know if I just missed her a lot. In my last post people confirmed to me that its in fact a normal feeling. I really appreciate all the advice everyone has provided on my last post because I'm now more rested knowing its normal to feel weird after the first meet and not to worry, it just takes a few more visits cause it takes a while to get adjusted. I think that its cause of havin such high hopes and having an idea of what it'll be like only to not be like that and then being confused as to why but its not bad.Well I talked to her about this and I found out she's been feeling the same way and I could tell. She explained that she also was excited but when we met it felt like she met a stranger that she knew. Like she knew me but the brain is unused to being with that person physically that you get this stranger feeling. I felt this way myself and I talked to her about it and I told her we just have to visit a few more times.The thing is I still feel like somethings different. Like I accepted that fact but I feel as if though our relationship isn't as strong anymore. I don't feel like she's as into me anymore and although we still talk and say I love you it doesn't feel as strong as before and I don't sense her wanting to talk with me as much. Does that awkward feeling after the first meet take a while to go away? Is it just normal to experience set backs after the first meet? I don't know when ill see her again and even if it set us back a little I hope we make our way back up. I really do love her and want to be with her, I'm just scared of things changing after that. I always was but am more now. So I want to hear from others who have experienced what I'm feeling and if its normal for this to last a while and create set backs. I wouldn't think meeting each other could just change everything, could it? Does it just take getting used to?She also metioned my weight after. I'm not fat but I did gain some weight over the past year and I do need to work on it. She even said I'm not fat but that I should work on it to stay healthy and she did say it was noticeable but its not a problem. I don't know what that means, if it means it really bothered her a lot or not. I would just like to know other opinions. I apologize for rambling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): I'm the original poster.To answer you sebaslookingforward she is about 10 hours away. I live in the state of Oregon while she lives in California, a neighboring state. We met while visiting a university here in my state. I've been planning on going down to see her again soon and I really hope it'll help this weird feeling wear off and that it'll strengthen us again. So far it seems like our relationship continues drift =[ as I'm not really getting the right signals from her.
A
male
reader, sebaslookingforward  +, writes (18 March 2011):
Man, I read your question when you posted it, your first one. i neevr put an answer to that one, but now I feel I should answer this time.Let me start with the fact that she said you were a bit overweight. Well on pictures sometimes you cannot tell that from people, and maybe she saw "oh, I thought he was thinner" but she did not insult you so do not worry, its part of the weird first time together.You might not feel that the relationship is still strong, but it is important that you guys keep meeting each other. You need to meet at least 3 or 4 times to get rid of this weird feeling, trust me. But it is important that you meet her soon, before it is too late. Dont go to work, miss your class or school day, whatever you have to do, but please meet her soon.Hor far away is she? how did u get to her the first time?
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