A
female
age
30-35,
*arzbarr
writes:im single and when i get drunk i like to have fun every now and then ive hooked up with a few guys that i know and like from school.are these girls jealous of me for hooking up with a few guys from school that they couldnt get with?
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (12 August 2011):
Hello again. I think a really wise piece of advice here, would be to stay aware of how much you drink. After a while, switch to soft drinks - coca cola, lemonade or lemon squash, so you are not inclined to just go off and have sex with any guy who happens to be near you.
So what I am really saying is DON'T allow yourself to get completely intoxicated in the first place, so that you DO have complete control over your behaviour.
Each time you become very drunk, you leave yourself open to all kinds of things to happen - including date rape. Someone could very easily spike your drink with a substance which will put you into an altered state of consciousness where you really have no clue of where you are or what is happening around you. That can be a pretty scarey experience and you don't want to go there at all, if you can help it.
The easy solution to avoid that problem (date rape), is to keep your drink with you at all times. Before going to the toilet, finish your drink first. Don't ever put it down and leave it unattended. That's usually when drinks get spiked.
And if it isn't date rape (and you don't have to be out on an actual date, just in a public bar with lots of people), you could be taken advantage of by one or more than one guy and raped, and you wouldn't even know about it. Not even the next day, because you won't remember it.
The thing to keep in mind here, is you lose a lot of control over what happens to you when you are under the influence of alcohol. Especially, the more you drink. So be conscious of that, whenever you go out to a public bar.
You don't want to find yourself pregnant one day as a direct result of one of these casual sex occasions, and then as someone else here has said, you really have no idea who the father is.
And apart from falling pregnant while you're so young, it could ruin your entire future if you let it. It will change how far you go with your education, and could prevent you from following many of your dreams in future.
I am talking about consequences. The consequences of your actions.
Think very carefully about it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 August 2011):
 not sure what you mean by "hooking up" but I doubt these girls are jealous...they probably pity you and think you are easy and slutty and trashy...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): If your single, take precautions and don't care what people think.....do as you please,men do, but be aware of consequences
These boys will gossip and brag....but really, whats there to brag about? So they had sex, big deal
I don't think the girls are jealous as such, probably shocked that you have sex so freely. Your life, your choices - but really,at your age,I think your parents should still be guiding you on this topic
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (8 August 2011):
 I think you're misunderstanding the nature of men and hookups. I'll explain; if you already understood this stuff, just let me know.
Guys like sex. A lot (no revelations here yet). And guys will happily hook up with a girl who they would never, ever date. For instance, if we rate people's attractiveness on a 1-10 scale, a male 9 will happily hook up with a female 5 if there is little to no effort involved, or a 3 if he's bored and his friends won't find out, but will probably never date any girl less than a 7, and will almost certainly not commit to a girl less than an 8.
"These girls," you classmates, could also hook up with these guys. Sleeping with a male 10 does not say a thing about your attractiveness. Yes, they could get with these guys, if they required no effort. The difference is that these girls require effort and commitment, and unless they are 8's or 9's, the male 10 will not give them that required effort. These girls want boyfriends and respect, not hookups, and would rather get that respect and care from a male 7 than get pumped and dumped by a male 10. There's a reason girls who hook up quickly are called "easy."
Additionally, no matter how hot you are (not even a female 10 is exempt from this), if you've given it away for free before, every other guy will expect the same treatment. Once word gets out that you've been with a guy for zero effort on his part, other guys will not want to invest any effort (such as care, commitment, dates, etc.) in you. After all, to guys, why is it fair for one guy to get laid just for showing up, while another has to earn it? Meaning, if you hooked up with a male 10, a male 6 who has heard about it would balk at the idea of wining and dining you.
Try to get these guys you've hooked up with to commit to you, and you'll get a much better idea of where this lifestyle leads. You're young enough that you could change your lifestyle and still have a satisfying romantic life, if you work on it now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): Males hate, females pity.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): Ha ha ha, you think they are jealous? Of what? Of your reputation? You are the one who should be jealous of people who have morals.
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A
female
reader, BettyBoup  +, writes (8 August 2011):
 It might be jealousy, or it could be that these girls have different values to you. By calling you easy, it shows they don't respect girls who hook up with lots of guys.
It's your life, so do what you feel is right for you. Sometimes that will mean other people will judge you for your choices. Promiscuity is looked down upon by a lot of people in a lot of different cultures and much more so for promiscuous females than males. Although people are becoming more open minded in western society, I think women who choose to have many sexual partners will have a bad rep for a long time to come.
Make your own choices, for yourself. Don't worry about other people judging you. But be aware that some choices will bring judgement, whether you think it's fair or not. Also be aware of the reasons you make choices like hooking up with guys. If you are just young, free, single and enjoy hooking up with guys, as long as you don't care about people judging you, carry on doing what you are doing. But be careful. You could have a reputation for being an easy lay from girls and guys, for a long time. This could have repurcusions in your dealings, if you continue to live in the same town. A lot of guys see girls who are "easy" as not being the type they would want a relationship with. But then again, if a guy is worth it, he will love you for who you are.
But just remember, all your choices have effects in your life.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 August 2011):
 By "hook up" do you mean you have sex with these guys?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2011): No, their not jealous they just have morals. No ones jealous of an easy girl, cos she's just that. Easy. Their not jealous now, their just laughing at you. They won't be jealous in the future either when you've had so much drunken "fun" that you don't know who your babies dad is.
Boys don't get with you cos your better than these girls, they get with you cos they can. Why would anyone be jealous? These boys see you as nothing more than a bit of fun. Less easy girls however, boys see them as girlfriend material.
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A
female
reader, marzbarr +, writes (8 August 2011):
marzbarr is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUm well these girls are just my class mates and they say im easy but what do they expect when im single? and these guys that i hooked up with evan said theyre just jealous and they wouldnt hook up with them. i just need to hear from someone else??
And my close mate that i went to a party with evan told me not to get with this guy she wanted to get with, not that i didnt anyway.
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (8 August 2011):
Hi there. Who are these girls that you think are jealous of you?
Are they your school friends?
You have given very little information here, so that makes it rather difficult to comment on.
For instance, what is it they are doing or saying to you to make you think this might be so?
If you write some more details, then I can help you more.
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