A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Are cheaters ever unhappy? I work in the entertainment industry and work long hours - lately my video editor and I have been working on an editing project and during lunch hours he basically confided that he has had an External affair with another coworker in the previous project. He has complained about his newly married bride before but he just confessed to me. Him and his wife have been on and off for five years and they just got married...I didn’t say much since sometimes there is tension between us but no line has ever been crossed.i do feel sometimes he may be attracted to me but I don’t feel he is a sincere person; he has said I look nice but then he has also said he should hook me up with his single friends so I don’t get his vibe..I feel sometimes he always wants attention and sometimes I am jealous of him and the attention he gets from other colleagues and I guess I don’t undersnf this.. here I am trying to get a marriage - a better salary and a white picket fence and here is someone that has it and has even more (a mistress) . Do cheaters get unhappy? Does it pay to be this way? It’s seems like he is winning in all aspects of life - he complains about his wife but the vacations don’t stop- he makes fun of the mistress but the socializing with her doesn’t end ( he makes t a tragic life story) he doesn’t care at work he gets promoted ..
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2018): Cheaters don't really win; they live looking over their shoulder. Telling lie after lie after lie. They become hollow inside. They are very good at their craft; as long as they don't get caught. They are manipulative, and know how to use your trust against you.
I'm not talking about people who make a slip in judgement; I'm talking about the repeat-offender, the slick types who think with their genitals. They have no self-control, or a moral-compass. They place their needs first. Everyone else comes last.
They live by deception and cunning. They don't really value trust as a binding ingredient in a relationship; they simply live by their lusts.
They want unconditional-love, relationships, and all the trimmings; but at the same time, they like a variety of lovers. They get cheap-thrills from having a mistress or ladies on the side. Yet maintaining a wife and family-life. They want their cake and to eat it too. Happiness or unhappiness is irrelevant. It's about their sexual-appetite and ego. They feel they deserve whatever they want, whomever they want, and don't mind hurting people in the process.
It always seems like the wicked flourish. We are not to envy them; because sooner or later all that they do will catch-up with them.
Everything they gain, they will eventually lose. You have to be inside his or her head to actually know what each thinks, or what drives them. They actually believe they have reasons for what they do, and they feel justified.
They are weak in character, and untrustworthy. No matter how much they seem to prosper; everything they've done to hurt another person catches up with them. Even the wealthiest and most powerful can be brought-down by a woman. She doesn't have to be evil, or particularly devious; she knows his secrets, thereby she knows how to destroy him.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (28 July 2018):
 This material based world is created so that the ones who exploit others win, on the outside. While innocent people suffer. Spiritual fulfillment does not depend on financial success or how many lovers you have. If you believe in heaven and hell, you know what happens to evil people. They will not inherit God's kingdom. If you believe in reincarnation or karma, bad people have to pay in some way in their next life. It's either one or the other. You can't have both heaven/hell concept and reincarnation at the same time. Unless you look at hell as perpetual reincarnation. Anyway his life is not your concern. Happiness can be relative so you can't measure it from person to person. Your job is to live to the fullest and be the best person you can be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2018): Not all cheaters are alike. Some cheat because they are unhappy with their wife and find a genuine connection with another woman. They fall for this woman. Others are serial or habitual cheaters who were that way before they got married, and will continue to cheat forever. This guy is in the second category. You're asking for trouble if you mess with him.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (28 July 2018):
 PS..cheaters usually wind up losing their mate, their home and full time with their kids if they have them. Certainly doesn't sound worth it to me. And forget about anyone respecting them.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (28 July 2018):
If you are smart you will keep things strictly professional with this man, he's not a great guy and like they always say..if they cheat with you, they will cheat on you. I wouldn't say cheaters are happy..as honeypie says..why would they be cheating if they are happy with their mate? Happy people don't want to cheat or hurt their SO. Cheaters are missing something or at least they think they are, so they go elsewhere looking for thrills, satisfaction..whatever. They may think that they find happiness but its short lived! They are lying to their mate and themself, and probably all their friends. Does it pay to be this way? What do you think? think about sneaking around, lying, hiding just so you can screw someone else...I wouldn't think it would be worth it at all. Usually they do get caught too and then if they have any decency at all they feel like shit..and everyone knows that they are bad news.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 July 2018):
 OP, why do you think they cheat in the first place?
If they WERE happy would they feel the need to fill that empty void with someone besides a spouse?
Now you can be JUST another conquest on his "fuck list" or you can choose to not be lumped in with women who let's him take advantage of them.
He married someone that he didn't have a stable relationship with, probably because he was already cheating. But the thing is marriage doesn't FIX cheating or a cheater.
Do you really think he is winning in life?
Seriously?
He has a wife at home who resents him (because she KNOWS he is cheating again...) and a "mistress" who is only banging him because 1. he is taken and that is taboo or 2. she is too lazy to find herself a good man.
He doesn't sound like a winner to me, he sounds like a loser.
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