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Are all Turkish men this jealous? He said he's the only guy I should look at. Should I talk to him?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 September 2008) 13 Answers - (Newest, 31 July 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been in a long distance relationship for around 2 months now with a turkish guy 4 years older. I really like him, but when we talk on the phone and he knows i have been out, he asks if i went out with boys. and when he says love you at the end of a call, and i just say "you too", he sounds sad because he wants me to say LOVE you too. are all turkish men this jealous? we aren't even serious or anything yet, we're still getting to know eachother. but he thinks he is the only guy i should look at. and he said this to me but i wasnt sure if he was joking. he is really nice to me though, and when we were together it was the best. should i talk to him about it? and see what he feels?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2017):

My Turkish boyfriend is the same too....

+ 1st rule: if one of us tell: I love you.... the other has to reply: I love you too. Sound weird... but he never accept me saying: Okie, I know, thank you. We fighted a lot about those things... He kept questioning me that I do not love him.

+ Over possessive: He always thinks I am his. He said: you are mine, I never share you to anyone else.

+ He called me a bitch once and blocked me when we first met, and when I realized I chat with another guys together with him too... I was really annoying but did not know why I apologized to him.

I am Vietnamese girl. I read a lot of articles about Turkish men who are liars and cheater.... I am cautious too. We are in LDR and online meeting. We fighted because of this online love alot from the beginning of our dating.

But I made a decision to love him and be serious. The reason is because when he came, I had serious broke up with an Indian-German guy who is a playboy, cheaters, liars, etc...

I like his jealousy... Because I am extremely jealousy too. I was kind of understanding the feeling of possessive.... so I do not have any problems when he shows his jealousy and possessive. On the contrary, I love guys who are like that.

He is selfish yes, very much alike to guys in my country, so I handle him very easy.

Ah.... we are very stubborn in nature so we fighted a lot (I dated him not because I loved him at the beginning too). He understands me quite well. He can spot all of my negative traits and he helped me to overcome my depression.

Even if he lied to me about his marriage or he cheated on me, I am still grateful for what he did. He is not a perfect guy but he stays with me when I have problems.

..... I do not know why people here feel insulted when a guy becomes over jealous and over possessive.

I even do not know why all European guys are so free and can talk a lot of sweet things and can jump to bed easily...

Cultural difference I guess. I like my Turkish boyfriend more.... not because he is sweet with flowers, but because he is jealous when he loves someone.

Compared to all fake sweet Western and European guys I met, my boyfriend is nearly traditional and modest than others.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2012):

Hi to everyone!

I've been very curious on what other women experience being in a relationship with a turkish man.

I am very proud to share my story, I am from the Philippines, I went to USA for an internship program, I work in a hotel. I met all nationalities, the first man captured my heart was a european, yes he is nice, but it didn't last. And then I met a turkish man, he starts to be a friend of mine, but he always tell me he likes me a lot, till the day comes that we fell in love with each other.

I met him two months before my end of stay in USA. When we are together, it's like a fairy-tale, i felt like a princess, all his promises he never forget. He is jealous yes, but he knows how to listen and trust me. I prove to him that I am loyal, because told me he just need love and loyalty, so i did. :)

Before i went home, we spend time together in a vacation, all the love, spark and happiness. I was in a 5 years relationship before I went to USA, but I can't held but compare, my ex is the opposite of my turkish boyfriend. My turkish boyfriend makes me feel that I am the only girl in the world, and he loves me so much.

I come back to my country, everyday we talk on skype, facebook and even call me on my phone. I try to come back to usa, but not my luck, he told me to go Canada and he will follow, I failed I was a victim of fraud in my country. I was crying on skype when I talk to him, I was so afraid that he will just give up and leave me, he has been waiting for 6mos since I left USA. He told me don't stress myself, be strong and never be afraid because no matter what happened he still wants me and he says that I need to trust him that we will be together soon.

He is not a citizen of USA, he works so much, and he have some problems in his life, in short his life isn't perfect, BUT he said that HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE ME and that's forever.

He is a great man, now he plan to come here in my country and leave his good life in USA just to be with me. He will come here and live with me soonest possible next year.

And above all these, i learned that Muslims are good people, my boyfriend/fiance respect my religion as a roman catholic and he never plan to convert me. He is such a great man! I wish to be with him soon and we be together and forever.

Thanks everyone!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2012):

I also have been in love with turkish men for about over a year now.. But he and never meet in person we just talk everyday in facebook and 3 days a week we talk in webcam.. But i'm going to see him this year on October. But i dont know about the law in turkey.. Can woman and man stay with each other without marry? Or that will be a problem with the prolice? Do anyone know about this? Please me know cause i dont want any problem.. Thanks Bee

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A female reader, nes09 United Kingdom +, writes (6 April 2012):

nes09 agony aunti think we should not generalize this but i must agree, most of the turkish men i know, even my own turkish friends..get a bit jealous sometimes.

As for in a relationship with a turk, i noticed they like that your eyes are only set for them ONLY. they dont like you talking to any other guy.

My boyfriend even got jealous of my GAY friend.

Its not easy but if you show him that you have your own decision and you are respectable and not a flirt, i think he should treat you better by that.

i agree with the anonymous commenter of Aug 4, 2010 below. i think we have the same situation..and i have received the same exact words from the person i was dating..

*leo4dee is also correct when he said you have to decide if its gonna be seious or not.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2011):

Turkish men are pathologically jealous and insecure. This is NOT love. Ignore their good looks and charm and run the other direction FAST. Written by one who has been there.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2010):

Yes Turkish men are extremely jealous. I am an American woman in my 20s, and have only dated American men in my life. When I started to date this Turkish man I knew, it started off great. He was by far, the most romantic, passionate, and caring man I had ever been with. I was "hooked" immediately. He was so different from any man that I had ever dated. He did seem a bit jealous of certain guy friends while we were together, but was able to keep his jealousy "hidden" even though it would slip out here and there, I figured it was only normal. He did want to know where I was going at all times, for example-if I went to the store, the gym, or tanning (which is part of my daily routine and didn't think I needed to tell him every time) he was offended when I did not tell him EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. However, he would never give me the full on day to day details of his life, mostly bc I didnt ask, nor cared. Other than a few minor bumps in the road, we were SO in love. Well, I was, I was smitten. He asked me to marry him before he moved away to go to school. I said no, but told him we will keep in touch. He moved, AND THIS IS WHERE THE TERROR STARTED!!!!!!! Trying to be in a long distance relationship with anyone must be difficult, but a Turkish man is soooooooooo JEALOUS. The jealously was out of control almost instantly. I would receive phone calls in the MIDDLE of the night, while I was sleeping!!!!!!!!! and if I did not pick up and tell him where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing-all hell would break lose! It was like night and day, I didn't know what the hell happened to this sweet man I fell in love with!! Things only progressed and got worse, the accusations, the insults, the jealously- it was too much to even bare. I had to cut him out and change my phone number. He STILL continued to email me and tell me he wanted me to be the mother of his children, etc, etc. The worst part is that whatever he does, is okay, but if say one thing to stick up for myself,or justify my actions, he surely knows how to turn the tables on me. Ive been accused of everything under the sun by this guy. I'm not here to stereotype Turkish men, obviously they can be delightful and charming and so much fun. But from my experience, all of the American men I have dated have been much more laid back, and shall I say....SANE!!!!!?

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A female reader, s4ndy United Kingdom +, writes (27 May 2010):

Hi girls Im having a long distance relationship with a sweet Turkish guy and we speak online all night and everynight and Im going to see him at the end of June. I think with Turkish guys they are very proud, and possessive of their women - dont you think this is natural if they are for you deeply. My man does as me where Ive been if Ive been out but Ive nothing to hide, and he's not too possessive. I think we are all jealous to a certain extent, as long as he is not too controlling. They like to protect their women - and Im sorry British guys but give me a Turkish guy anytime!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010):

Yes, yes yes TURKISH MEN ARE EXTREMELY AND I WILL REPEAT EXTREMELY jealous men.

My Ex who was Turkish but that guy was a monster of jealosut he would call me where are you, and if I said where was I , he would respond you are lying. He sand his friends to SPY on me.For example,if I talked with a boy in school about school related stuff, he would not take it for an answer and would curse YOU R A BITCH...

Girl we don't need MEN LIKE THAT IN OUR LIVES. We will never understand as their Turkish girls will, because for them it is acceptable for a men to behave like that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2009):

There's a great book you MUST read. Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft. Go to the library and please check it out. I have been in love with a turkish man for almost two years. He is insanely jealous. I don't know if that's how they all are, but mine is, and seems that yours is too. I have never cheated on him never even wanted to, but he accused me of doing so several times. It is probably going to get worse. The last time he accused me, I decided I can't do this any longer. I still love him more than I thought is possible to love someone, but I's not stupid to put up with his abuse, because that's what it is. Stay away from jealous men, because they think they own you.

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A male reader, leo4dee Turkey +, writes (25 January 2009):

Hi..I am a Turkish man and let me tell you one thing. Yes, we Turkish men are jealous of our women but the one you have a long distance relationship is an extreme case. What I mean to say is that you cannot create a stereotype out of him.

We are jealous of our women I said but ONLY OF OUR WOMEN. If we are serious about them, if they are or seem to be serious about us AND IF WE LOVE THEM A LOT. I was in a long distance relationship with an American woman for the last 12 months and she thought that she should make me MORE JEALOUS of her, so that I can go there to be with her in person but this was just backfired and I have left her. Don't ever use another man or even the name of another man to make your Turkish (or any other nationality) boyfriend jealous of you. It normally backfires and he can give you, your own medicine back.

But, since you are in a long distance relationship with him and since you are a free personality, don't bother about him anymore, if you are not serious. As far as I am concerned, tobeing serious with a long-distance fling is a lie. You need to see each other in person to see wether it will work for you or not. If you are serious, tell him to come and visit with you. But if you are not serious, tell him to go to hell but don't ever tell him that you are going out with other men in your own world. This will piss him off and he will try to act as if you are at his posession which is nothing but bullshit.

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (17 September 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntWhy see what he feels. You already know what he feels. I agree with Emilyanswers.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (16 September 2008):

Yeah all turkish men fit into a neat little stereotype.

You can't blame his nationality for the fact that he's a possessive pushy idiot.

If you don't like it then tell him that you will look at who you please and he should trust you more.

Any man can be really nice to you. It doesn't mean they are really nice.

Tell him you want to take things slowly.

Good Luck!! xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008):

Oh Ghos! Yeah ... I dated a Greek from the island of Xios, which is right next to Turkey. They are extremely jealous and Turks even more!!!!!! They are the men in the house, you are just another of his hens!

Be carefoul girl!!!!

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