A
male
age
30-35,
*rIncredible
writes:Alright, I've been with this group of people that I thought were my friends, we use to go out every now and then, have beer and do some dumb stuff, like all friends do. My problem at that time was that I didn't have a car, so I was asking any of them to pick me up so we could go and hang out. A month later I got a car, but just the day I got that car, there was an incident.I invited them over to my place for beer, etc. The guy who was gonna buy beer said he couldn't go, so without him, there was not much fun, so I thought I should give him a call and ask if by any chance he could get me beer (since I couldn't drive, I couldn't get it), and I'll pay him for it. Then he shows up with beer and all of my other best friends and says that plans changed and that he was able to chill with us. We get inside and then he starts demanding money from me for that beer. I had no cash at all at that time, so I said I can't pay you right now man. I also said why should I pay for all of that beer if you showed up, we should split the check for 5 people that were drinking. And that's when it all started. I thought why should I pay for my other friends drinking, while i work so hard to make my $9/h at the construction. So I refused to pay for all the beer, therefore contradicting my words when I left him a voicemail saying that I'll pay for it all. (BTW when I was saying I'll pay for it all, In my opinion it was that we all would meet up, and everyone would chip in for the beer, and then we'd leave to my house. Also while at the house, i was intoxicated and could barely stand up. One of my friends 3 weeks later misspelled some words and said that all other people that I invited said that he should have ditched me intoxicated, puking in the bathroom, and leave the house. But he didnt....After that incident, I haven't seen any of my friends in 3 weeks. I met them at a big event at out school. And i was like alright, I'll pay for it, whatever. He said that I'll have to go to hell and keep my money. Because all I did was not keep my word and bumming rides from them. They didn't know I already was driving a car. So i was like w/e.Then at another even 1 week later, I saw them again. Everything seemed alright. After that event at night, I went out with my parents, and I texted them like what r u guys doing tonight. HE told me they are away at some restaurant, and then they'll be going home. So i was like alright, fine w/e. SO I called up my BEST friend, and invited him to go out somewhere since I had I car.. He said he doesnt feel well and hung up. So i was like alright, I left the restaurant with my parents, and wen't back home. On my way back home, I saw them, including that BEST friend that wasnt feeling well on the street, carrying beer to his house. I drove by slowly, and since they didn't know i had a car, they didn't know it was me. So I heard them calling me a dumb *** and an idiot, jew, etc.SO w/e, i know we had a planned trip to the mountains this weekend. And now i texted my friend and he said na, they aren't going there. Some why I feel like if I will go to their houses at 4 am this weekend, I wont see their cars, and I'll know that they left for our long planned trip without me.I feel like i just lost all friends that I had. Help me out. Does it seem like they are lying or am I just deluding myself here? I feel guilty as well, but I also blame them too.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (14 June 2010):
 You're welcome. Hope things work out ok.
A
male
reader, MrIncredible +, writes (13 June 2010):
MrIncredible is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys, I appreciate the fact that you spent some time reading about my life a little.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): Seems like there might be more to the story you aren't saying but, oh well. To me it just seems like you don't have really good friends, and you probably didn't explain yourself as calmly as you're trying to make it seem.
They probably ARE lying to you, unfortunately. Sorry. But I think you might want to actually talk to them. Not yell, scream, or complain about money, just talk to them like a calm, normal human being. And I'm not blaming you, just so you know, I feel like my tone could be taken that way. Anywho, hope this helps. Peace.
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A
female
reader, Myrrh +, writes (12 June 2010):
Hello. You dont need to feel guilty. S*it happens. They just werent the good friends you thought they were. I cant help thinking the guy that bought the beer is stirring the pot. Its easy to see how he would have been annoyed. He gets a message saying you would pay for the beer. Then when he turns up you refused. Its easy to see how the others might think...ok so hes always wanting rides...but he wont buy us a beer. I think theyve all been a little p*ssed off by the whole incident. Now they are in "pack" mode and all giving you the cold shoulder. The best thing to to is to bide your time. Dont be too eager to chase them. As you bump into them be friendly but dont force anything. If they are still sulking let them get on with it. Take the time to form some new friendships. If you work at making new friends now, you might not even want the old ones when they finally come around again x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2010): They are not friends at this point. I would ignore them and wait till it settles down. U may be putting yourself at risk to go camping with a group like this. Seems even your BEST friend cant stand up for you.
Plus if you are not 21 and even if you are and some of them are not, it is not wise to be camping and drinking. My son found that out - and you wont be driving your car after a citation for either underage drinking or furnishing it to those who are underage.
This is time for you to do the right thing - not try to play into them - they are the losers - even tho I know it doesnt feel that way to you - Good Luck
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