A
female
age
30-35,
*ammy3
writes:[Moderator note: profanity deleted]my spouce(common law) is very selfish. i have been sick since wednesday. it is now friday, im suposta stay in bed for a couple days, and i didnt. i wake up cook me some breakfast n him, pack his lunch for work and cook him supper! he has done nothing for me at all! oh wait he did run to the store to get me some meds and bread n milk. but that is it. im going around the house sanitizing cleaning and cooking while he works sleeps and watches tv, i figured he might just might have some heart to take care of me but i was totaly wrong. he is always selfish like my check ever 2 weeks is like 1/4 of his check ever 2 weeks and im still paying for my loan, electricity, phone/internet, and grocerys he pays rent which is a tiny dent in his check and he spends the rest on nothing he needs. i have very few good cloths and very few bras and only one frying pan now (i burnt the other 2 so threw them out)and i have no money left to get that stuff he buys the gas and cigs if all my money is gone, if not i have to. we have 3 vehicles (not great ones but 1 is great 2 are not) he wants another peice of shit truck that is 400 dollars pretty much just to look at and wont even buy me a damn bra that is 30 dollars!! i hate this, and sometimes he hides his walet cause he thinks im gonna steal his money, i do know where he hides it cause i look, i wana know. i spend 100 dollars less then him on the house bills and he still thinks all this house is his. i cant put people out of my house cause its "Not mine" because i dont pay rent which is 100 dollars more then what i pay on all our other bills. i dont get it, are all guys this hatefull and selfish?i just dont know what to do, just say *to hell with* the bills and spend my money or steal his just for spite for hiding it on me? or just start dressing all raddy and shitty no makeup or hair done then he might say hey my girl need some clothes she is UGLY hahaha yah know what im sayin?what should i do?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 November 2009):
No we're not thankfully. But your boyfriend is and you desreve better, so get away from him, focus on yourself for a while, and when you're ready, you'll find someone a million times better.
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (7 November 2009):
 No, men are not all like that. I paid for almost everything for my most recent ex, but would never admit that I did because she cooked for me and bought what little she could, and that was enough. I was more supportive of her emotional needs, and never would admit it because I just wanted her happy and that was enough. When she decided that she was going to study abroad in Japan for two semesters, it freaked me out (I am a home body and don't even travel on vacations) but I offered to go with her to keep her happy and we started planning our wedding to coincide with the trip over there. I never actually got to go with her (she left me first) but would have walked away from my entire life here and my job to be with her, and never even thought much of it because I just wanted to be with her and keep her happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): NO, We're not all that way!!Any guy who won't take care of his spouse(commonlaw or otherwise!) when she's sick just doesn't cut it!You should demand more.marriedlady said it best: you have the wrong guy!Best of luck
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A
female
reader, sammy3 +, writes (7 November 2009):
sammy3 is verified as being by the original poster of the question i should have wrote a little more also,(even tho it is pretty long).thanks i do deserve better and yah i have the wrong guy in that department, but we do get along great tho everything is fine except for the selfish n hateful thin.yes he puts a roof over my head and yes i do deserve respect, we know eachother inside and out, we do cuddle and kiss we are very affectionet (when not in public, well somewhat to a certin extent) for being together for 5 years. most people lose it after the 1st 3 or 4 years. we have been threw so much together everything is perfect except the selfishness and not thinking about me thing this is why im so confused on what to do. i love him very very much and he loves me very much also.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): No sweetie they are not!!!!My husband of 27 years gave up his family home that he had worked for and bought, and his business which had just started to make a good profit, and moved our family to another state...to save my sanity. literally. He will go without to see that me and the children have what we need. We fuss and fume and argue and kiss and all of the other normal married people stuff but at the end of the day, he would give his life for me and i for him. You have the wrong guy. Life is not a fairy tale and relationships are hard work, but love and respect are not to much to ask for. good luck. mal
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