A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can you love someone that you don't admire?I feel that a large part of love is finding that person that you admire. A partner that can constantly energize you to do better just by the mere fact that you want to aspire to emulate them.I guess I could say that I've admired my girlfriend at one point, obviously in the beginning, but overtime I've surpassed it. I've already gleaned these characteristics and I feel that its time for me to move on cause the grass is greener on the other side. I feel like I'm being pulled behind now and my gut instinct is telling me to let go of the dead weight. If someone asks me, what do you admire about your partner, they would be all completely banal. She's smart, beautiful, outgoing....okay great sounds like the perfect woman right? No. The negatives that I would come up would out number the positives 6 to 1. I could think of 24 of them off the top of my head. Immature, needy, irrational, liar, loose cannon, small minded, narcissistic, controlling, co-dependent, unreliable, lazy, manipulative, overbearing, dead weight, double standards, weak, negative thinking, repetitive, constantly needs reassurance, whiny, unreasonable, own parents have described her as "has an attitude", has no problem involuntarily involving others in our relationship problems, and can be a real you know what. Of course, there has been a slew of relationship problems that we've had as well. But can you really love someone that occupies more negatives in your head than positives? Can you love someone that you think so negatively of? I think not.I should also add, that a few days before I planned on breaking up with her, she told me that she was pregnant (I've confirmed this by going to a doctor with her). I told myself that I would "give it another fair shot". Four months later I keep thinking to myself "Why am I preventing the inevitable?". How can a break it off with the least collateral damage?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): These responses have been great. Please continue to write sound advise. I think I know I have to let go of the relationship as I have "out grown it" which is natural. I do care for my girlfriend very much and I wish for this separation to occur as easy as possible for her. Please give me advise on how I can do this.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2009): Thanks for the responses. They have been really helpful. PLEASE continue to write sound advise like the last two contributors.
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