A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I am in a fwb arrangement with a man of 10 months we didn't arrange it it just happened anyway I was just wondering are all fwbs like this one I see him once a month maybe twice if I'm lucky lol we live very close to one another I text him he ignores me he accuses me of seeing other men even when I'm not he has said to me he doesn't want me to see any one else which I was ok with to start with until I realised how badly he treats me he forgot my birthday even though I got him a present for his he didn't text me merry xmas or anything I had to text him first I got him a xmas present to I text him n told him he just text back your nice he never texts me hardly we had a argument about it he told me to text him more now I have started doing so he ignores me I don't know what to do are all fwbs like this or should I talk to him about the way he treats me I am getting really fed up with it now I have been patient with him and put up with it for 10 month but recently over xmas and my birthday I have realised how badly he treats me what should I do thank you :)
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 December 2011):
I'm afraid this is what a FWB relationship is. Others have posted and have summed it up really. It's clear this isn't really for you, and you'd do better go go find a boyfriend instead. You seem totally wasted on this guy, and there are other guys out there who will want to actually be with you.
A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (29 December 2011):
 Yes, all perfectly correct for a FWB relationship. It's you that is the problem. FWB don't require birthday presentss, texts or christmas cards, that is for proper friends or for a boyfriend/girlfriend situation.
He's not really a friend, so this is more of a "hook up" for sex, but it seems you agree to be exclusive and not have sex with other people. The fact that he only see's you once a month (twice if your lucky) shows that he's not bothered about you, and will easily replace you if you become demanding, fall in love or give him headache about anything at all.
FWB... sex and that's it.. not sex and chat, not sex and presents, sex over and done with until the next time he (or you) gets horny and you meet up to scratch that itch.
If you want presents find a proper boyfriend, or get yourself some girlfriends.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): Sorry to hear of your trouble. I've never been in a fwb situation, and I think they're a fallacy anyway.
To my mind, there would always be one partner who is more into it than the other. It's also easy for feelings to develop in this odd relationship, which itself would create an emotional roller-coaster.
Again, it doesn't seem like your situation is strictly fwb. No friend of mine would ignore me over Christmas, or forget my birthday and them get defensive about it. The fact that you have argued over his treatment of you point to two things:
1) you are more into him than he is to you. Even if you are only into him a little.
2) he's not your friend. You are not really his friend either. He wants 'no strings' sex on 100% his terms.
IMO you are not fwb, he's just using you to get off. That's what his hands are for, and to treat someone so badly whilst using them for sex should tell you something of his moral fibre (or lack thereof). Can him, and go find someone who cares for you.
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