A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am worried about my boyfriend's aggressive side.We've been dating for 4 months now, and sometimes he really snaps at me, and is rude/intolerant about other people. I just worry that he may become violent at some point. For instance, he says things like - he would like to go and buy a gun, he wants to move to the States so he can buy lots of guns. He has got lots of knives but now he can't carry them becasue it is against the law etc. He talks about this kind of thing a lot. At first I thought it was a joke but now I realise he isn't joking, it makes me feel a bit sick.Also, if there is a problem, he always blames the other person involved, calls them an idiot, a joker, a fuckwit etc and starts ranting about how ignorant they are. He also says he is the most aware person he knows, and most people on this planet are unintelligent.Sometimes he writes angry emails back to whoever it is, or shouts down the phone at them, then he says, sorry I got angry there, I just can't stand it when....etcRecently he has started making comments about some of my male friend on facebook, like if they say they like a photo of mine, he says they are out to fuck me, and it's so sad etc.The other day we were at teh beach and he needed the loo so he went on ahead and I said I would follow on in a minute, I was just lying down, anyway, after I got up and went to find him he had a massive go at me for making him wait in the cold, even though he knew where I was, and he told me I was rude and ignorant, so I said, 'unlike you, because you're the most aware person you know!' and he told me to pull over as he wanted to get out and walk home.So I pulled over and drove off. After a while I felt a bit bad that he was walking all that way, so I thought I would go and find him. He saw me and said, 'what's taken you so long? I've been marching for the last hour. I was about to go to the pub.'He seemed really angry and he has snapped like this a few times. Afterwards he was really sweet and almost as though the incident never heappened. I was so hurt, can hardly look at him. Today I had to get away from him. He has told me his dad used to beat up his mum and I just wonder if he would ever do something like that.
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female
reader, XOLoveOX +, writes (29 December 2011):
It seems to me his childhood has made a big impact on him bein aggressive, I think it would be best if he was diagnosed as it sounds as he may have some sort of mental illness. Hope this helps : - )!
A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (29 December 2011):
 Does this really sound like the type of man you want to be with? Someone obsessed with weapons and knives?
Its only been a few months so it shouldnt be too hard to move on.
He clearly has some really issues.
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A
female
reader, feralfox  +, writes (29 December 2011):
You need to be very careful and observant right now. Right now is the time where you need to evaluate the extent of his anger issues, because in most cases it only gets worse the more you get to know him. Sorry if this sounds harsh OP, but I have known men like your boyfriend and while the jealousy and intensity can be flattering, it can also lead him to do terrible terrible things. Sure the make-up will be great, he will treat you better than a princess if he ever crosses the line and becomes violent-- but he will do it again. They always do, and they always come from a violent background of some kind (In this case, his father beat his mother).
He might just be a fiery passionate man with a bit of a temper, but pay close attention the next month or so. Never tolerate anything physical. I hope he has some redeeming qualities, because he doesn't sound very fun to be with to me.
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