A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Is it possible to fall in love with a stripper?I met this girl about 2 weeks ago and weve gone on a few dates but we arent offically dating, and i wanted to make it official but she said she needed to tell me something, thats when she let me know that she was a stripper.I really like this girl, shes funny, nice, has alot of the same interests as me but i dont know if i could ever trust/be happy with a girl that takes off her clothes for other men.Is there anyone out there that has dated a stripper and made it work?
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female
reader, Beccccccy +, writes (21 February 2010):
Monica , answers the question really well .
I have danced in the past , and really enjoyed it ..but the thing I didnt need after work was Sex , I had no interest . When you have just done 35 privates , and all of those guys had errections poking into you , most of them were married ..Its pretty hard to come home and get into a heavy sex session .
Everyone is different however , I used to get turned on my the dance and even wet rubbing against some guys penis , even if I found him quite ugly , It was really weird ..that heaven they couldn't touch me there . I knew other girls who were the opposite ..there were girls with long term partners , husbands , kids , they were 95% smart girls , and MOST very beautiful .
So it certainly CAN work , but try and be understanding if she has problems like I did ..
Really wish you guys luck .
A
female
reader, MonicaC +, writes (10 June 2009):
I've had some friends who stripped for a living and they were interesting, fun and intelligent girls whom I really liked. The thing is that they all seemed to have some hang-ups about sex though. I mean, you would think they wouldn't since they are in that type of profession, but the girls I knew were very up-tight about the sex thing and had to get quite drunk or high to even make love with their significant others.
I'm not saying it can't work out. It could. If she is well-adjusted enough to have a healthy and monogamous relationship and you are well-adjusted enough to accept what she does (including hustling) for a living. Only you know the answer to that.
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Yes i think it would work yes
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): http://www.dearcupid.org/people/grimmreality
You may be interested in his article.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): I tried it.. it didn't work for me. But hey, your situation sounds a bit different. You picked her up outside of the club after all. In my case, I picked her up IN the club and tried to date her after. So you actually have moral superiority over me from back then.One thing you have to realize, she isn't just taking her clothes off, you are sugar coating it bad. She grinds on other mens' packages, (private dances) doing all sorts of sordid things, and tries to hustle them too. Yeah, my stripper ex was a full fledged hustler, and she was CRAZY good at it too.What assurance do you have that she won't try to hustle you? What assurance do you have that she won't "emotionally cheat" on you with some random guy that pays 30 bucks a song? And, even outright prostitution goes on in some clubs in those private dance booths. Bj's and hand jobs and the like. Mine didn't do that, she hustled too good to even have to, but she told me about other girls that did that.At the very least, it will be harder to trust her. Surely even the most positive and blindingly hopeful person sees this.I'd say steer clear, but perhaps she's a stripper with a heart of gold. Highly highly unlikely, but...perhaps.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): Trust has nothing to do with the fact that she's a stripper, she told you about it that's the first step in building trust.
Why does it matter? It's just a job, if she was an underwear model or posed nude for paintings, would you have the same reservations? You need to talk to her and find out what it is really like to be a stripper, I think your head is filled with misconceptions about it.
I had a girlfriend that wanted to strip to make a bit of extra cash and I had no problem with it, she was actually really good too, the money was great and the place she worked was clean and well protected.
This is your hang up not hers, so it is up to you to deal with it, if you don't think you will be able to get past this and see her for the "funny, nice girl" that you "really like", then I think you should not get her hopes up.
Working in a fast food restaurant can be far more degrading than stripping but is far more socially acceptable. I really don't see how you think trust will be an issue the job does not make the woman.
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A
female
reader, *problems* +, writes (9 June 2009):
when she said to you she had to tell you something,, it was obvious that she cared about what you thought, otherwise she would have told you anyway! at the end of the day shes still a person and that just happens to be what she does, if you think its going to bother you if yous become more serious you have to tell her when its still early days before you get in too deep , or take take her as she is, either way i hope all goes ok for you xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2009): This will work IF...
- you can accept what she does and separate it from who she is.
- you can trust her.
- most importantly you NEVER go to "see her at work." (there's a reason club owners tell the girls to never let their boyfriends or husbands come and see them.)
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A
female
reader, *problems* +, writes (9 June 2009):
when she said to you she had to tell you something,, it was obvious that she cared about what you thought, otherwise she would have told you anyway! at the end of the day shes still a person and that just happens to be what she does, if you think its going to bother you if yous become more serious you have to tell her when its still early days before you get in to deep , or take take her as she is, either way i hope all goes ok for you xx
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