A
male
age
36-40,
*iket389
writes:Im having a really hard time letting go.. she did everything wrong and completely messed with my head to the point where i thought there was something wrong with me.. i got my clarity i got my closure her best friend and MOTHER told me the best thing to do would be to let go.. So why can't i stop thinking about her? she cheated slept with more than one other guy lied to me about pretty much everything.. but everytime i was with her it didn't matter..i miss the girl i met.. not the girl she is.. before her i didn't care and the first girl i care about in a long time does this.. I can't help but wonder the what ifs.. what if she changed. she was engaged which was a huge red flag but played that like it was over.. its just so many things and im still so upset. all she did was manipulate me and i still care and don't want to i don't know what to do anymore its really bothering me. please.. please any advice would help
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female
reader, kateish  +, writes (9 June 2009):
First of all, I'm really sorry that you're going through such a horrible time. It's completely normal to go through the emotions that you're going through right now. Love is really messy, and it's even harder when one person has done so many awful things. It seems backwards, but it's generally harder to let go when the other person has acted as though they don't want you anymore. You didn't deserve any of it though. You deserve love, but real love doesn't hurt. It's hard to work through those feelings, but you will.... By doing that, you're opening yourself to a person who understands what she has when she has it, and will treat you the way you deserve. You are not alone though. I think many people can relate. Good luck. You sound like an amazing guy who found the wrong girl.
A
female
reader, Ronna +, writes (9 June 2009):
You said it yourself when you said you miss the girl you met, not the girl she is. Sorry buddy. She isnt the girl you met. She obviously has issues. I was once a cheater. And I realized I did this because I didnt know what I wanted. She knows it isnt you, or she wouldnt be cheating. The main reason people cheat is because they are trying to find that "something" in that "someone". She obviously didnt find that in you, so she moved on, but didnt break up with you, because she needed a fall back for when she didnt find it. Also, considering she messed with your head...you need to get over her. Good luck. :D
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