A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was the anon who wrote this question originally:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-re-enter-the-dating-world.htmlWell, an update, things are going well so far, not saying it in an egotistical way, here's hoping it continues ;)However, this question doesn't concern me, but my friend, who's same age as me, I've known him since late 2010, he's got a similar sort of sense of humour to me and (some) similar interests. Don't see him that often, only if I'm occasionally working where he lives (I travel for my job). He has Asperger's Syndrome, was open and honest about it when I met him in late 2010, but that doesn't affect our friendship at all. It's virtually not even discussed as it is!Granted, I only see him now and then because I'm all over the place for my work (freelancer, ). Still, I've had the odd drink with him now and then, so we do socialise. I don't live that close to him, really, but see him now and then, sometimes in the city, sometimes have the odd drink with him.Anyhow, saw him about, like a week or so ago, he asked me how it was going, said things are going well, he told me about things he was doing like his upcoming holiday etc., and plans to go to a speed-dating night one weekend as a socialising thing [his words, not mine!].He asked me "are speed-dating nights a good way to meet new women, this one's £17 [well, $28.70 to anyone outside the UK reading this], and well, if I don't meet someone, I could meet new guy friends, it's held in a bar/restaurant, a nice Italian-American place in town. Oh well, if it doesn't work out... what have I lost? Nothing really, other than £17 and a night out, it's one day of my life".Isn't that a very sanguine way of thinking? No, I'm not criticising him, just trying to understand his reasoning.I am/was happy for him, but am wondering, is he right or wrong about speed-dating, OK, so I'm single at the moment, but should I consider speed-dating as an option? (OK, so I've been on a few dates, but is it worth it?) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (7 May 2014):
 I've never done an official speed dating thing but I think your friend's attitude is great... "what do I have to lose and I have everything to win" THAT'S how you meet folks...
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 May 2014):
 I know nothing about speed dating, but I am curious to understand why you call your friend's attitude " sanguine ", or what's there to " understand " in his reasoning. Unless yourself are prudent to the point of paranoia :)
I mean, it's not the same normal, regular attitude of any movie goer ?... You really never know if you'll actually enjoy the movie, even if you've read the reviews or seen the trailer, who tells you that you'll enjoy it ? if you don't... oh well, you'll have wasted a couple of hours and the cost of a movie ticket. There are worse things in life.
I think your friend's is a normal healthy attitude. If there's something that piques, even slightly, your interest , and you can afford its price ... why not trying it ? What's the worst that can happen, that you don't have fun, or you don't meet anybody special that night ? Well, you don't have anybody special right now, so at worst things stay the same. Therefore, if you can afford the £ 17 of course, I'd go without too much hair-splitting. In this , and other similar occasions for new things.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (7 May 2014):
 If you want to meet people then why not, at least unlike online dating, you get to see the person and chat face-to-face.
His attitude to it is healthy and he goes in with the right expectations.
Good for him.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (6 May 2014):
 I agree with Euphoric and your friend. Both are being pragmatic about it. I get his reasoning and I don't even have Aspergers (!).
He's right, what's £17 for the potential gain of making new connections whether male or female? Or just having a fun night out? Nothing, unless you're on a low budget. £17 is nothing for a typical night out in a British city ;)
You then ask about whether it's an option for you, and I say that's an individual thing. For me, I didn't like it. Your friend might like it, and you might not. There's only one way of knowing.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (6 May 2014):
Dear OP,
I have been to 3 speed dating events so far and I think your friend has the right attitude about it. In 2 out of 3 events, I met very nice people, had a good chat with the girls there, too (as he might have with the guys) and all in all it was an interesting experience. I didn't find a partner, but I know some people have found one through speed dating. So yes, why not give it a try? If you're broke, don't spend the money on it, because the success rate isn't too high. But if you are curious without too many expectations, go for it. At least it's way less effort to meet a couple of men than to arrange dates with the same number of guys over the internet.
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