A
female
age
30-35,
*lliebellie
writes:hiya!im just kinda interested and i was wondering if people could share their experiences with me.their experiences with their first bfs. how did you meet?what age?how long did it last?were your parents ok with it?and finally.......what age is ok to date to you think?thankslolelliexxx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, daletom  +, writes (6 January 2008):
I see I missed a couple of your questions in my earlier post.
Age for "dating" depends on what you define as "dating". I wanted my kids to have a wide range of interactions with the opposite sex, in professional, casual, and personal situations before they started "dating". I didn't want them to concentrate on 1-on-1, exclusive, romantic, activities until they were 16 or so. Setting a definite "rule" never became a problem: by the time they were considering concentrating on a serious boyfriend or girlfriend, they had progressed through a lot of activities with boys/girls and I had confidence in their maturity, judgement, and choice of companions.
I was never aware of significant parental anxiety over my first girlfriend. From the early stages of our relationship I often had dinner with Patty and her parents, and she occasionally ate with my family. Decades later, when I was a parent myself, I realized that this was an excellent way to gain approval and respect from the parents. And also to learn about my girlfriend, by observing how her family operated and how she interacted with her folks.
A similar situation worked to my benefit with my second girlfriend (now wife). Circumstances had me staying overnight at her parents' house only 2 days after we met. I even slept in her bed - no, she wasn't in it with me! Several months later she told me how, after that visit, her folks had spontaneously given her "permission" to date me. As if a 22 year old college graduate actually needed her parents to pick her friends! But her parents' comments helped her form her own impression of me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): Met my first real boyfriend at 14. We were together for two years. He made an awful fool out of me! Cheated and ignored me for days on end. I took it all because i was so young i didn't really know much about how relationships worked. I guess you could say i was clueless. And i was just so happy to be in my first "proper" relationship that i didnt want to be on my own.In the end it just kinda fizzled out. I started to grow up and saw that there is better more trustworthy people out there.At the time my parents were ok about it.....i suppose thats because i never let them know how badly he treated me!!!
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 January 2008):
I was about a month short of 18 years old. A girl in one of my classes, who sometimes ate lunch with a group of 6-8 friends, let me know that Patty sort of liked me and needed a Prom date. Patty started eating with us occasionally - I eventually asked her to come along on some of the things my friends did together - she eventually said she'd teach me to dance, but wouldn't ask me to take her to the Prom (hint, hint, ...) - so I had to ask her.
We were lovers for about 4 months in the summer after we graduated from High School. First date. First dance. First holding hands. First kiss. We never had sex; I never even fondled her or saw her naked. We DID do a lot of hugging, kissing, necking, etc. (My wife doesn't believe that I learned to make love on Patty's back porch, without ever having sex.)
She finally broke up when we went off to different universities about 500 miles apart. We might have had a very fulfilling and enduring marriage - to this day I have no regrets or grudges and wish only the best for her. In retrospect I see that my second girlfriend (and wife - married over 30 years) is a BETTER match for me than Patty was, but I wonder if part of that is because I met her at age 22 instead of 18.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): Met at 14 at school.
Dated at 16.
First child together at 21.
Second child at 23.
Third child at 25.
Then he cheated and left me saying that he hadnt lived as we got serious too young.
I say date young around (14/15) but dont settle down too quickly.
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A
female
reader, elliebellie +, writes (5 January 2008):
elliebellie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhiya!thanks for all ur advice.yeah im 13 just got my first bfbeen going out for about 4/5 months.he's kind and respective and loads of other great things lol but anyway thankslolelliexxx
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (5 January 2008):
 okay what first proper bf? erm when i was 14, he lived down the road from my dad...lasted 3 months. mum didnt no bout it dad was fine with it. around 13-14 seems okay to me
sparkii x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): hi ellie, i was 13/14years old. i used to go to judo at school, and one of the girls there had her older brother *17 years old* walk her homw, he looked young for his age and i had no idea that he was so much older than me. i was so happy that i had my first bf, although i wassnt comfortable with the age, i went out with him aniway. my mom found out and wanted me to dump him as she was not comfortable with my first boyfriend being 3/4years older than me. it olny lasted 2weeks because i realised that i really wasnt comfortable with the age. it was so difficult to see him after i cut all ties with him and stopped judo
i think it is ok to date as soon as both of u r ready, but at ure age, stick to people ure own age
hope this helped, good luck in the future
love hannah xxxxx
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A
female
reader, LouLee +, writes (5 January 2008):
 Ok well my first real boyfriend was when i was 13, probably quite young in most people's eyes. When i moved schools i had to start taking this bus into school and as soon as i saw him i thought wow he's fit and he said hi straight away...then he found me on a website and added me as a friend and started flirtiing with me online, then at school it made it easier for us to talk to eachother and he asked me out and i said yes and we used to cuddle and kiss on the bus and we lasted around a couple of months. My dad was okay with it he thought he sounded like a really nice guy which shocked me and my mum didnt know about it not through secrecy just through not getting round to telling her. I think its okay to date as soon as you're in you're teens really x
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