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male
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anonymous
writes: hi im 18 yr old male - sorry for the stupid question - it's not one anyone can answer really - but i thought i'd say it anyway.... it's just that i never know what to say to people (especially girls). i like being in a big group and just chipping in occasionally, but i never know what to say to people on their own.thanks for any advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2008): well girls like guys who are confident but sometimes they find insecurities endearing. looks usually do matter to most girls so dont throw on just anything. its true that girls like to talk about themselves, as does everyone, but they might also find you fascinating.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): Hey man, be yourself. It's true. The more YOU you can be at all times while she's there the better. Just let yourself flow as if she wasn't even there. REMEMBER: she's there for YOUR enjoyment, not vice versa.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2007): Find out somthing she is interested in,like if she hunts go up to her and ask her how many deer she got last season and then start a conversation about huntin' or what ever.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2007): just give girls compliments and ask them questions, let them do the talking
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2006): hello some ways i think people should meet another sex is to do something that is very simple just stare until you and the other sex meet eyes. this is one way to meet another sex. Another way to talk to another sex is to just walk up to them and start a good conversation. just keep in mind fellas, that ladies like a gentleman that can make them laugh....
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2005): My biggest thing is for a male to be confident in himself and shows that he takes care of himself, especially grooming and things like that. A lot of girls like some humor too, make them smile.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2005): just go for it, tell her whatever you really think about her, but dont come on too fast, you might seem like a freak, just do it slowly, make sure she gets all the attention ;)
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (3 December 2005):
 The best way to talk with anyone, regardless of their sex, age or status, is to ask questions, listen to the answers, then ask more questions based on what they've said.
At 18, and in groups of people your own age, one way to start is "Where do you go to school?" If the person you're talking with is at uni, you can ask them questions about how they chose that college, how they found the transistion from high school, what new freedoms they're discovering, about interesting new people they've met, whether they live in dorms or on their own, what subjects they're taking, etc etc.
If they're still in high school, you would ask questions about their studies and what their plans are for beyond school, what subjects they enjoy best and why, and so on.
Whatever topic you use as a base for your discussions, the trick is to listen to the answers and ask a new question based on what they've said. Even "Why do you think that?" will keep things going. You don't have to know anything - and crucially - you don't have to really DO anything, other than smile and continue to show interest.
The upshot is that EVERYONE you talk with in this way will come away with the feeling that you're a fantastic conversationalist, because everybody loves to talk about themselves.
Finally, try to remember that other people are exactly like you. They struggle to know what to say too, and everyone's secretly afraid of looking like a fool, so when you give people an opportunity to talk about a subject they know well (themselves), they'll leap at it.
Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2005): I am a girl. When I was your age I found it really hard to talk to boys - I thought of them as a different species or something! Try and think of girls as your mates. I know because of hormones racing around I used to think of any male as a potential partner cos they were male- mind you I didnt actually spend anytime with a guy till i was 21 - i thinkit took me unitl then to shift my image. When I saw guys as people, i was then able to talk to them and then naturally the next step of relationship happened.
Just talk - practice makes perfect! good luck!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2005): HI Anon,
You know I can't count the amount of times i said that same thing, it's very hard to explain, but I know what you mean, I went through the same thing. I am now 37, and it's amazing how much you learn! What you have to remember is just be yourself, everyone - including you - has something to say and you'd be surprised at how other people DO find you interesting, so go one, say what you feel...and talk like you're talking to a member of your family, i'm sure you don't feel like this when you talk to them??. As for the girls, I reckon you feel that they'll think you just want to get in their pants, well, you probably do, but unless you've actually tried that, they're not going to be any the wiser, so go out there and chat. I found a very good method for starting off was to try online chat rooms (don't go to the dodgy ones) It's amazing what you can do with words on a one to one, and you'll never get embarrassed, because if you say something daft (which would normally show up on your face) they don't see you, so you can just laugh it off. get out there mate, and put yourself about. And don't keep saying sorry, coz that looks like you're already wrong!!
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female
reader, janleid +, writes (3 December 2005):
18 is a great age! You have the world is ahead of you but you are definitely a man and time is very short. A stupid question is one you should already know the answer to and believe me, knowing what to say in a social setting is a daunting task for everyone. Everytime there is a meeting there is an exchange of power. Someone will win, someone will lose.
In order for your charms and your talents to recommend themselves you have to believe everyone in the room looks up to. This seems silly at first but works. Imagine you are in charge of the well being and productivity of each person because they are working for you. What would you do or say to motivate that person. The answer, you talk to them and respond in kind.
As for conversation, don’t be in a hurry to speak. The person listening has the advantage because they are in a position to hear that person’s needs/desires/aspirations. This only matters if you remember what they say. Ask open ended questions instead.
You’re in a lounge in Boston, and the person is from New York. Ask them what they like about living in each city but be listening for how often they feel homesick, or whether they know where the good pubs and theaters are. Your responses should be brief and solve these little problems if possible.
If it’s not possible be emphathetic, but comeback with the info another time. “Hey Denise, I remember you said you go back to NYC often, there’s a bus that goes down there on weekends…better than flying if you have the time...” You’ll quickly become known as a man of information, a problem solver.
You can later cash in on the exchange. You’re sitting in the library, Denise and her friend pass by. She mentions she took the bus, and had a good trip, introduces you to her friend…you get the picture.
Besides there isn’t a CEO alive that was known for being a thoughtless chatter box.
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female
reader, bethany2k5 +, writes (3 December 2005):
you could talk about what stuff your into, music, where she likes to go it depends what kind of a person she/he is
just talk about what there into that normally is a good way too start
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female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (3 December 2005):
 BHasically just be yourself and say whatevr you like. Do not worry what other people think. However relating to girls just be your self and do not be afraid to say anything or express your opinions.
with regard on tips of talking to girls. 1) be yourself 2) be polite and charming and couteous
3)Treat them with respect
4) think of an interesting subject to talk about
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