A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex-boyfriend finished with me 6 months ago and is now in love with someone else. He does absolutely everything for her, even stopped seeing his friends because she told him not to. He really respects her and I have to see them together all the time or hear how wonderful they are together and how much they love each other from mutual friends. He was never like this to me when I was with him in fact everything in his life came before me, I hardly saw him. Now Im beginning to feel that he used me and I really hate myself for being so stupid and letting him do so. I cant move on when we live so close together and I see him nearly everyday. I really, really loved him and I still do but I cant understand how I can feel like this when hes hurt me so much and he doesnt care about my feelings. I just cant forget about him even though any normal girl would be hating him for the way hes treated me. I believe the only way I can get over him is if I move away where I wont see him or hear about him again. But Im scared to leave my family and friends and my job. I dont know what to do.
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male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (3 December 2005):
 Hi,
I would not move away, that would be very drastic, you need to maintain stability in your life through this tough period, and you are also going to need advice from those close to you, friends and family.
You do need to find a way to move on though, the relationship ended 6 months ago, that is a long time to be still grieving. You should not be envious of this relationship anyway, it is doomed to failure. She is a control freak, no-one should EVER be told not to see their friends. What this girl is doing is establishing complete control over his life. After this is done she will probably lose respect for him and ultimately probably start mistreating him in the long run. So he might respect her, but she doesn’t appear to respect him.
You shouldn’t spend time resenting his behaviour, it sounds as though he may have fallen out of love with you, and hardly seeing him was a sign that the relationship was on the way out. Don’t beat yourself up so much, I think you are better off out of this relationship.
Stop listening to other people talk about them, and finding out how they are getting on – remove him from your life mentally, this will help you move on. Just let him get on with his life now, and you get on with yours.
So start doing other things to distract yourself, and try to find someone else to be with, so you can stop constantly thinking about your ex.
A
female
reader, Angel ron +, writes (3 December 2005):
 Basically my answer to you is forget him he is not worth it you are much better than him he is a fool he is a total wash out. Basically if you really wnat to forget him you must do what you have to do.at the end of the day only you can make the decisions. But your family and friends are important to you so is your job . So do not let this guy think that he is no1 i9n your life because he is not. by leaving you are saying that. Don't let himf righten you away into leaving. You will meet someone eventually and this guy will seem as nothing to you. Basically try to forget him and get on with your life and stick to your personal committments such family friends and your job as they give you everything that you need as a person security independance.something that this guy can never give you. don't give into him and basically forget him he is not worth it.
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