A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So my problem is I can't make friends. I mean I hang out with a group of people at school but we don't talk outside of school or anything and so it feels like I have no friends. I am in clubs and stuff but I can't seem to make friends. I've lived in the same place for 8 years and can't relate to anyone.I really wish I had friends.Any tips? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ilaila +, writes (25 January 2010):
Well - this is not a hopeless situation at all! You are almost there...you have a group of people you hang out with at school and you're in clubs which means that you already have some people around you who have common interests. The thing is that you probably just need to initiate. Start a conversation with the group of people you hang out with and see what they're up to for the weekend or say you were interested in seeing some movie and see if the group wants to go and get something to eat afterward. If they already have stuff going on with their core group then say your plans fell through and would they care if you came along. Honestly - the group hang out situation is less intimidating and it will help you get to know a bunch of people wherein you will hopefully connect and find someone to be close friends with who gets you. I now it seems hard but sometimes you have to put yourself out there. The worst that can happen is you have to start associating with a different group of people in order to find your niche. I don't know if this site has things for people your age in your area but check out meetup.com - you basically can enter what you're interested in and where you live and find people with similar interests - try typing in teenage groups or something like that. I hope everything works out for you!!
A
male
reader, Boombadaboom  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 Just be patient and it will come by itself.Build yourself up to a really great person, try to be wonderful to hang around with and don't be a jackass. At some point you'll have made a great friend and you won't even know it yet. Have some great hobbies to find the right people and don't let other people change you in a bad way. Try to lead a great life which you'll love and the people who love the same as you do will be around you. You'll love yourself and as an extra; other people will love you too for it."I will share the secret to happiness... surround yourself with good people!" That's what a famous celebrity once said and it's true. That way you can only build yourself for the better and actually be a better person and make the best of friends.
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A
female
reader, Jays  +, writes (25 January 2010):
maybe you should ask one of your friends from inside school to hang out outside school, being outside school could give you more time to be relaxed together and get too know eachother more.
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A
female
reader, slm +, writes (25 January 2010):
We appear to be in pretty much the same boat, my friend.I do have one good friend back home (I'm in college), but we don't see much of each other anymore... I guess all I can say is you aren't alone.You might try talking to people online, though. I've met some great people over the internet, mostly at art sites (I'm an art major). So, we have common interests, which is a good place for a friendship to start. :) You might try finding an internet community focused around a hobby or interest of yours.I hope this ramble helps you a little bit!
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