A
female
age
30-35,
*ixiePie
writes:I have had a lot of shit go on in my life and I feel like I'm too much for my fiance.We're cousins, don't have a go, I'm over it and so is he. He's been in love with me since like forever and I fell in love with him too, so he's been there through most of the crapI have bipolar and that in itself is a lot to handle, my depression is worse than my mania, I get so down its worrying sometimes.I also have a lot of self confidence issues and we have huge conversations that last hours because of itAbout a year and a half ago I was raped, the guy not only took all respect I had for myself he took my viginity, and because of that I don't feel like my body is mine anymore.The rape triggered my worst mania episode and I went and slept around a lot, I had no respect for myself or for sex and so I just gave myself away.So my fiance now has to deal with my bipolar, my trauma over being raped and all my past sexual encounters as I am still friends with some of them.He also has to deal with my panic attacks, mainly if I see or think I see my rapist. I'm just wondering if all my baggage is too much, if its unfair on me to keep putting him through this.He says he can't imagine being without me and that life wouldn't be worth living if we weren't together, which makes me feel even more unfair to put such an amazing guy through all this.Can anyone help?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): I can relate, from his perspective.. My boyfriend is amazing, but he has post-traumatic stress disorder, manic depression, and he used to be bulimic. He gets really bad panic attacks frequently, and although it can sometimes scare me, I love him, and I don't care that he has these issues. All I want to do is make him happy, and I know being with me makes him happy and makes all the other stuff he has to deal with more bearable. The hardest thing was knowing what to do when these things came to the surface, but now I do, it's fine.
I imagine this is what your man thinks, it sounds like he loves you a lot, and all he wants is for you to be happy.
Don't push him away, help him understand these things, and let him help you.
To him, you're probably the bravest person in the world.
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