A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all! I was hoping for some help...I've been used to living with my parents and 2 siblings all my life, so it's always been a busy home. However my partner and I bought our 1st house together last year and I love living with him, just the 2 of us but I really struggle living on my own when he travels away for his job- he's usually away 7-10 days at a time. I feel so lonely and cry. I always try to keep busy and try to have friends over but I can't keep asking my friends over as they have their own lives. My sister is now away at university and my brother has gone travelling so I can't hang out with them and I live too far from my parents to visit often.I go out to work during the week but usually try to leave late to avoid being home alone. I try to go for walks and visit local shops but feel anxious being out by myself so I usually head for home after a short while.The weekends are the worst- 2 weeks ago my friend and I made plans for the entire weekend and she cancelled last minute and everyone was busy so I spent the entire weekend crying and feeling sorry for myself- pathetic I know.I was talking to a colleague and she loves it when her husband goes away- in fact the majority of people I speak to, have no issue living alone but I don't! I feel restless and sad.I know I sound pathetic as I'm in my 30's and need to get over it but I just miss my partner so much when he's away. He knows how I feel but for now this is how things have to be for his job.. Which I understand.Do any of you feel like this when alone? Any tips or advice? Thanks.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 February 2013):
 I like Cerberus's and Aunty BimBim's suggestions, and mine will sound lame in comparison , but... as for me, I never understood how people can feel lonely or bored when they can READ.
A good book is the most entertaining companion you can find, it may totally take you to a different world from the one you are inhabiting with its stresses and worries , and it may while away the hours in an uncanny way.
It does not need to be heady, intense, difficult stuff , in case you aren't a natural born reader. Low brow is cool too, occasionally - and particularly to just kill time and escape mentally. A good mistery ,for instance ? You come from the country of Ruth Rendell :), pick one of her most riveting best sellers, start reading after dinner .. then tell me if when you take a break, your bedtime has not passed since a while and you never noticed !
That's just an example, reading tastes are personal and maybe you hate crime stories. But.. there must be something you like. Think of what you dreamt about , what fascinated you when you were a kid. Travels in faraway lands ? read travel reportages. Comic books ? Go to a second hand bookstore and indulge in a big stash of vintage Disney, or Marvel or whatnot. And so on and so forth.
I know , it sounds lame, but ..please have a try , you might be surprised of finding yourself greeting your husband 's return with an " Oh. You are ALREADY here ? "
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2013): Get a dog, either a puppy or young rescue dog from the animal shelter. OP you're a person who needs companionship and there's nothing wrong with that really and dogs make better companions than most humans because they always want to be by your side, they're always delighted to see you and well they almost always want love and attention, to eat or to play.
OP I like the idea of volunteering and expanding your social life. But that's not what you miss, what you dread is an empty house. A dog will solve that, a puppy will keep you busy too.
If you already have one and it's not doing the trick or you're allergic or something, then start using online chat stuff. Omegle is a good site for random conversation, obviously don't go into lonely hearts or singles chat things, find ones relevant to your interests, join some forums to do with your hobbies and start getting to know some people online.
One excellent way actually is online gaming. Especially mmorpg's as you have to befriend people in order to be able to do anything meaningful in them.
Seriously though OP a dog will do the trick. I have four terriers, the most active playful and affectionate type of dog and I honestly look more forward to seeing them after work than I do my fiancée, she doesn't exactly run to door and bounce around with excitement and sheer joy every time I come in the door. She was never a dog person but she feels the same way. Loves the reception she gets when she gets home, especially when she's drunk she'll drunkenly sit and play with them in the hall way for ages. My youngest bitch is very attached to her, literally follows her everywhere and even waits outside the bathroom all sad and lonely until she's finished her shower. Cries at door for about 20 minutes after she leaves and generally just needs constant companionship from my fiancée.
Certainly and idea worth considering OP.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (23 February 2013):
 Volunteer somewhere, and asked to be rostered on only when your partner is away, a crisis line would be a good one to keep you busy nights .... do some night courses, woodwork maybe and build yourself a bookcase, cookery lessons, contact your local library or council office, ask if they know of any evening book clubs or movie appreciation groups, join a knitting circle, sometimes they are held at your local pub, learn how to play darts or skittles, get out all your old photos and start preserving them via scrapbooking, trace your family tree, get involved in an online community, working towards becoming a moderator or admin, decide to do a uni course, you can study anything online and gain a proper qualification at the end of it. The possibilities are endless, you just need to tell yourself this is an opportunity too good too miss!
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