A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm with this girl and I am generally happy with her. She's had a bit of a past, more so than me, meaning she had a period when she was casually dating a string of guys but nothing serious. I'm fine with that, too.Now, she seems really into me and frequently tells me she loves me, I'm very special to her, and so on. On the other hand, I see that she enjoys attention from other men. The other day we went to a restaurant in a larger group, and she left with me. But before leaving she made plans with one of the guys in the group, who knows her well, to meet up later in a club, and took his phone number so she could catch up. Later that night, she kept calling the guy to check on where/if they would meet, only to find out that the plans had been cancelled. Then she suddenly wanted to go home claiming she was tired. On the one hand I have no problem going out with other people, and I'm not a jealous person. Also, I like to think that she is not somebody to play games. But the experience still bothered me; I generally don't interrupt conversations for phone calls, much less conversations with my girlfriend for calls to another girl. I brought up the issue with her and she tried to brush it off saying he was the one to call her some of the time, and it was all just a misunderstanding.Any thoughts?
View related questions:
jealous, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): I'm the original poster here; thank you for all your advice guys.
Just for a bit of clarification:
This guy also was with a girl, and the talk was about several people getting together later, not just her and him, so it would not technically have been a date. But she did pick this one guy from among them and kept talking to him; and I even happen to know there has been a previous romantic interest between them. Like I said I'm not normally jealous and I'm careful to overreact, hence the clarification. And she does tell me profusely how much she loves me and how I'm so much better for her than previous guys.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): I hate to tell you this but it seems to me that you're just another one of those casual guys to her.
I mean all the time she was with you that night she was busy arranging to meet this other guy and when that fell through she went home dejected and 'tired'. So disappointed she couldn't go see him that she went home, even though she could have stayed with you.
Like Mike said, she's just not that into you. You can explain this any way you want to, but essentially she was arranging a date with this guy, while you were there, otherwise why would she act like she was stood up? and go home in a huff.
Another red flag for me is that she brushed it off, you asked her what the deal was and she casually just said it was a misunderstanding. That says to me that while she might say she loves you her behaviour is still that of a girl that wants to keep her options open. You made it obvious to her that you were uncomfortable with it and she just casually explained it away. She doesn't seem to think anything is wrong with her behaviour, that's not a good thing.
While people can change, a persons past relationships, are in most cases, a good indicator of how they will act with you. It can be hard to break dating habits and it only really happens through major changes in a persons life.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2010): Dont think its anything to confront about,yet.Definitely a red flag though.But keep your eye on her,because it does sound odd.
...............................
A
male
reader, MikeEa1  +, writes (17 August 2010):
 It sounds like she's not really into you. Maybe you should try and arrange a bit of one on one time and see how you two relate. If she seems distracted or if you don't seem to be hitting it off as couple maybe you both should try spending time with other people.
...............................
|
