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anonymous
writes: Hi - he takes his stress out on me.When my boyfriend is stressed from work or tired, he won't talk to me. Instead he snaps at me and bites my head off if I try talking to him. He'll spend the whole evening ignoring me - sometimes he won't even look at me. I can cope with it for a short time but when it goes on and on I start to get upset. Then if I get upset, he gets even more stressed and then starts blaming me for making it worse when I all tried to do at the beginning was make it better! As a result, I start to get really down and find it hard to see the positive side of our relationship. Then almost overnight, he's fine again and acts as though everything is fine. Any advice? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dotconfused  +, writes (16 March 2012):
I know how you feel and it is not nice, it makes you paranoid that something else is wrong, that he is having an affair or that he just doesnt love you any more. I have these issues too and get blamed for everything but I realise that people do take things out on those closest to them. Give him some space, maybe distance yourself a bit and when he asks why explain to him that you feel you a re annoying him at the moment and so thought you would leave him to it. I do feel for you as my words with partner are twisted when even asking a simple question and this usually results in him getting mad and a row errupts which of course I started ha. You cant win, these men are a strange breed. good luck
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reader, lovethat +, writes (27 June 2005):
I was married to someone just like that. He's using you as his whipping boy. He has very low self-esteem and will put you and whoever is around in the same hole as him. As they say "Misery loves company". There is nothing you can do to "make it better" as you've already experienced. HE has to make himself feel better and stop taking it out on you. It's a very selfish way of being. He needs to get counseling. And you might want too also so that you don't blame yourself for not being able to "fix him". This has nothing to do with you. It's a form of emotional abuse and it will wear you down eventually. It's your birth right to be happy! Peace-
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