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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does karma in relationships really happen? Like if you lie/cheat on/ or treat your ex badly and get into a new one.. does karma really come back to bite you? Any experiences to share? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (3 May 2011):
The effects of karma are not things that come to be immidiately, or even in the short term. In other words, karma does not mean that if you do something bad to someone, that in a few months someone will do something bad to you. Or that if you cheat on someone, that they will cheat on you. That is not karma.
What is meant by karma, to give an example, is that if you cheat on someone, your karma is that you have become a cheater, it becomes part of who you are. You will live your life and create your reality from the perspective of a cheater. Cheating involves lying, deceatfull actions, un-loving actions, creating suffering. These are all things that you do, that you become responsible for by cheating, these things become part of who you are, the thoughts you have and the actions you take. In other words, by taking this action, you take on all of these charactaristics, and this is your karma.
It is also true that you will attract the kind of thoughts, behaviours and energy that you put out, so you are likely to attract related situations and relationships in the future, and it sets up related patterns in your life. In this way, when you do something like cheating, it is likely to come back to you, but it is more about who you become than the things that will happen to you.
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female
reader, Gherkinsaregrim  +, writes (2 May 2011):
I chose not to cheat as i could have ended up having two guys, but I didn't, and picked the right one :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): When you lie or cheat in a relationship, you don't trust the other person either.Leave that relationship, their problem (your lying or cheating) is gone, but you still have your problem (that you lie and cheat and don't trust others) and take it with you. So, it enters your next relationship.I was in a relationship where the other person lied about all sorts of things, small stuff, big stuff, and cheated on me. Later in our lives, they came clean as much as they could, obviously couldn't remember everything as they lied about anything that they thought would be hard to deal with. That person was really surprised that I had nothing to "come clean" on, "shocked" is more accurate to say.In relationships, as in life in general, there is no better thing than being totally honest and open, there is no replacement for the truth. Lies and cheating should be reserved for war and espionage.Think of it like that, when you lie to those you love or do business with, you are going to war with them psychologically. Why do that to someone who loves you?
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 I know that after I left a shitty relationship I entered a wonderful relationship afterwards. So there's some balance to it. If you enter a relationship while you are in turmoil, the relationship will be up and down as well, and you will never quite find your rest. I believe more in there being a balance in life than I believe in karma. But it amounts to being about the same thing. I do think if you treat someone bad in a relationship you have something bad heading your way. But it could mean that the bad thing will happen in other areas of your life, not necessarily in your love life.
My ex deleted my computer files that he was keeping for me, refused to pay me back money he owed me, and treated me like crap. He also took advantage of me financially, and was not a nice guy to be around unless he wanted you to like him. After we broke up he lost all his friends, had to quit school, and no one liked him any more because everyone saw what kind of man he actually was.
That's what I call balance in life... He had it coming. Had to move back to his moms as well, whom he doesn't get along with. Maybe he's doing better now, but he seriously needs to straighten up his act and how he treats people or else he will never get friends again, or a girlfriend for that matter.
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reader, natmarie  +, writes (2 May 2011):
 Cause and effect ( Karma) works in ALL areas of life includiing relationships. It;s nothing to be worried about , but defintely something to be aware of. The effect will appear at some point when the condtions or right. This might help to understand how it works. More info on -
http://www.sgi-uk.org/index.php/buddhism/9thconsciousness
Cause and Effect
As we go about our daily lives, in every single moment, we make causes in the things that we think and say and do. Buddhism teaches the existence of a law of cause and effect which explains that when we make a cause, the anticipated effect of that cause is stored deep in our lives, and when the right circumstances appear then we experience the effect. This concept of cause and effect is at the heart of Buddhism, and the characters for 'renge' in Nam-myoho-renge-kyo mean the simultaneity of the internal cause and the internal effect. This means that, through chanting, we have made the cause for our Buddhahood, and the effect of it exists simultaneously with that cause. By chanting we are directly causing our Buddhahood to appear.
Renge literally means 'lotus flower', which is a beautiful plant that floats on the surface of water and its beauty is nourished through its roots in the mud. This is a metaphor for our lives. Chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo uses the `mud` in our lives to enable us to reveal our highest life state.
But the Lotus flower is significant for a second reason. It is a plant that flowers and seeds at the same time. It beautifully illustrates the profound working of life where the effect is simultaneous with the cause.
An example of the way Buddhism views cause and effect might be of a young person going home to spend a weekend with their parents. They have a blazing row before the end of the weekend and the young person leaves. In Western society we tend to see the blazing row as the cause and the young person leaving the effect. But Buddhism focuses attention on the internal cause and effect. So it may be that the internal cause turns out to be that the young person disrespects their parents, at quite a deep level, perhaps without realising it. The effect which is simultaneous with this cause is the state of hell, and it is this that is triggering the arguing. This example could equally be the other way round, with the parents doing the disrespecting. It is the internal cause and effect which a person who chants Nam-myoho-renge-kyo can change, replacing their internal feelings with respect.
Through the simultaneity of cause and effect we can cause our Buddhahood to appear. To help us gain a clearer understanding of what Nam-myoho-renge-kyo is we need to appreciate the nine consciousnesses. The nine consciousnesses can be thought of as different layers of consciousness which are constantly operating together to create our lives. And as we progress through explanations of these consciousnesses the significance of the principle of the simultaneity of cause and effect should become apparent.
Hope that helps!!! Nat x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): I used to believe in Karma but in my experience the 3 people who treated me very badly have never had payback, in fact, selfish men/women seem to fair best in life.
Nowadays I just go my own way and don't care about the past, its made me what I am.
Learn from mistakes and you won't repeat them
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): How about something more practical like cause-and-effect. If someone lies or cheats on someone or otherwise treats them badly, and then they get into a new relationship, they're not suddenly going to turn into amazing people who don't do those things in the new relationship. People have their tendencies, and patterns tend to repeat themselves. People who treat others badly will only drive others away, and there is no happiness in that.
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reader, ghawana  +, writes (2 May 2011):
its all in your mind. its you who creates your reality, no one else. don keep such things in your mind.
but yeah, if you are a good person by heart, even a bit, you may never forget what all you did to your ex, and it may take you down, and that karma thing will come back hitting you badly. if it is so, you must do something about it right away, you are mature enough to take decisions, you noe wat you have to do now.
and if you are not so good, then move on and forget the past. there is no such thing as good or bad. it is what this world and this society has taught us. ultimately what matters is us, do what makes you happy. if treating people good does it to you, then do it. and smile :). people who live in past can never stay happy. decision you took, you must have had something in your mind which made you take dat decision, now stick to it and stay happy.
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