A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:On saturday, my ex boyfriend is getting married to a girl he has been going out with for two years. When I found out in January I was elated, mainly because it ended badly and we were arguing a lot, and because we had many mutual friends, it came to a point where we avoided each other as much as we could.Then he stared dating a load of different girls and got burnt a couple of times, then his mum died and because she had been ill for a while, it gave him more freedom and he decided to do what he wanted. And he met this girl and she made him happy and I was happy that he had found someone. But he has always had the opinion that I lost out on him (even though I was the one who dumped him). We lost contact until January when he contacted me on Facebook and added me as a friend, but then he became so obnoxious that I wished him well and told him that he was being disrespectful to his wife to be keep contacting me, and he deleted me as a friend, which was what I wanted.Then a couple of week back, he contacted me again on Facebook, and has been leaving stupid status' in the hope that I see them, really obvious ones. I have decided that I don't need to put up with him any more.My boyfriend says I should delete him, but knowing my ex he will think I am jealous or upset when I am the complete opposite. I truly am happy for him, I am pleased he is marrying the woman he loves. Therefore when he is married on Saturday I want to leave him an e-mail, wishing them the very best and whatnot, but make it clear that it is the last time I want him to contact me. I think it is totally disrespectful to his wife-to-be. I know if I was her, I wouldn't want my husband to be in touch with an Ex.So has anyone got any pointers in what I could write to him. I'd ask my friends, but they just get annoyed and tell me to send a nasty email. I think you can guess what the content would be.So any ideas. He is the type of guy who needs it spelling it out for him, cos it still annoys him that I was the one who did the dumping.Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Viajante  +, writes (24 September 2010):
Who cares what he thinks? I feel sorry for his wife if he is still trying to get back at you somehow, because it means he still hasn't totally let go of you. He should stop acting like a boy and start acting like a man if he wants this marriage to work.
And if you still care what he thinks, it also might mean you care. Honestly, if you weren't friends right after the break up, this is the wrong time to start. Let him think whatever he wants, this is your life and he is not a part of it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2010): pft how right you all are. I don't know why I was stressing. Now where's the delete button :)
Thanks very much for the advice.
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A
female
reader, xanthic  +, writes (17 September 2010):
 Why should you care what your ex thinks about you? So what if he thinks you're jealous? You know you're not.
Let him know you no longer want to stay in touch and that any further attempts on his part will be ignored, then delete him and be done with it.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 September 2010):
 Personally, I would just stop all contact. Channel indifference and don't bother with explanations or rationalizations or anything. Just stop reacting or paying any attention.
You already have told him to go away. He didn't listen then. He's not listening now. So just stop paying attention yourself. Let it fizzle out rather than trying to provoke a reaction.
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