A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been single for about a year now and suddenly everyone I know wants to set me up with someone! My brother keeps hinting at his dream that me and his best friend will get together and my best friend wants me to be with one of her close friends, who we'll call Ben. I don't know Ben very well, but my friend orchestrated it so that me and him had dinner a couple of nights ago. It was really nice and he's an unusually great and thoughtful guy, but I still don't feel like I know much about him or whether we'd be good together. Now my friend is asking if I like him and telling me I'd better not hurt him and saying that he's nervous to ask me on a second date (when I wasn't aware we'd had a first date!). I told her that there's potential there but I still don't know him well enough to know for sure. I still feel pretty trapped though, like suddenly I'm involved in something unexpectedly. I don't want to hurt him, but I wish guys wouldn't put all their hopes into someone so quickly. Any ideas on how I can slow things down here?
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female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (13 October 2009):
 Explain to your friend how you feel. If she is a true friend and understands she will back off. I don't see why you can't go on dates with the guy. This will give you a way to get to know him. Just don't get into a relationship with him until you are certain that is what you want. You can't hurt him if you are not in a relationship with him. Just going on dates is a easy way to get to know the guy but just make sure he understands the limits.
Good Luck!
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