A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I find it really hard to have an orgasm when I have penetrative sex. In fact, I have only ever come once doing this. I find it hard to come at all in front of someone so this was the only time.I want to start getting out of sex what my partner does. Don't get me wrong, I love the stuff he does to me but I want to climax like he does! It's not fair!Does anyone have any experiences of which sex toys are the best, and maybe some positions that will make him hit my g-spot?Thanks
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female
reader, seenitdoneit +, writes (17 August 2006):
I have never managed to achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex so I have stopped trying. I orgasm using clitoral stimulation (I usually do this myself for a deeper orgasm); then my partner penetrates me and the sensitivity caused by the orgasm feels wonderful. People think orgasm is the be all and end all - it isn't. Things can feel wonderful without leading to orgasm. Enjoy the whole sexual experience equally, the orgasm is just part of it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2006): I agree with Yos, rather than you trying to change things to fit in with your boyfriend I think it's going to have to be the other way around if you both want to climax at around the same time!
I presume he knows about this little problem you are having? What does he say? Is he willing to try some alternative things so that you feel happier with the outcome? Would you feel comfortable stimulating yourself clitorally whilst he is penetrating you? This can allow you to climax when he does, but I think for some girls it can be a bit "too much" being penetrated and being clitorally stimulated at the same time, you have to be properly turned on.
I think it would definately help if you spent longer on foreplay and building up your senses and responses before he starts penetrating you, this is the key. And don't worry, I've never met or spoken to a girl who can orgasm through just penetration, yet hardly any blokes seem to realise this.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (17 August 2006):
 I'm afraid it takes a night of drinking for me to repeat it
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A
male
reader, harshbutfair +, writes (17 August 2006):
 Dearest Yos,
Please don't keep us on tenderhooks! What were these two critical tips!??!?
Your dear friend,
Harshbutfair
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (17 August 2006):
Most women won't orgasm via penatrative sex alone. Very very few will (except on rare occasions). The g-spot works for some people sometimes, but its a now and again thing, not an everyday thing.
If you're not climaxing with your partner there could be lots of reasons for it. However, by the sounds of it, it might be just that you two are ignoring stimulating you?
In that case, I suggest you try an experiment: for the next week you two are not allowed any penatration during sex. You can use your hands, mouths, anything else, but no penetration. Just focus on what feels good and turns you on. Orgasm for both of you should be perfectly possible.
And if your boyfriend is at a loss, I suggest you tell him to read the section called 'cunnilingus' on this site:
http://www.tinynibbles.com/
Penetration is only part of sex. Put it this way... the best sex tips I ever got were off two lesbian friends of mine (and they didn't involve any props).
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