A
male
age
36-40,
*roken hart
writes:i need to save my relatinship with my girlfriend! having a bad patch, we both love each other. any advice anyone? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (25 September 2007):
 12 hour shifts? Is that 5 days a week, or only 3 days a week?
Look, if you like your job, stick with it.
If you beleive that you and her have a real future together, and the job is not that important to you, then find a different job.
Bottom line is: which one do you see yourself doing long term? The job or the girl?
-Frank B Kermit
A
male
reader, broken hart +, writes (21 September 2007):
broken hart is verified as being by the original poster of the questionif think the bad patch is coming from my job as an immagration officer, i work 12 hour shifts so the time we get 2 c each other is limmited. she also wories alot when i in work cause 99.9% of the time i am in danger! i love the girl 2 bits and dont want to loose her! i need your help people
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (21 September 2007):
 Communication. If you both love each other you should be able to discuss the issues, and come up with a way to make a change.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2007): The only advice I can offer - since you tell us so little about the nature of the "bad patch" is to say: sit down and talk with her when you both are feeling calm and not agitated or angry.
Ask what is wrong (if you don't already know) and what you can do to work it out. How do you want her to change; how does she want you to alter your behavior, sort of thing.
Be prepared to LISTEN to what she has to say, without interrupting her, or judging her. Ask how she feels about things, and let her know how you feel. DO NOT level any accusations, or recriminations! Then she should give you your turn at talking and being listened to.
Hope this helps. But, if you write and tell us what's wrong we might be able to be of more assistance.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit +, writes (21 September 2007):
What was the bad patch about?
-FBK
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A
female
reader, brooke5426 +, writes (21 September 2007):
 thats not a lot of information to go on, i think we would probably need to know whats caused the bad patch and how long its been bad for so we can help you figure out a plan of action to get it right again.
but from what you have said, all i can suggest is talk, talk, talk, talk, talk!! talk about your feelings, talk about what makes you happy, talk about what hurts you, talk about what you want to happen in your relationship and where you want things to go. switch the tv off, unplug the phone, give each other your completely undivided attention and talk til your face turns blue and then some. be completely 110% crystal clear about what is going on and how you feel because NOTHING will kill a relationship quicker than lack of communication will. and thats from personal experience!
best of luck
brooke
xxx
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